Here's an article to read, because I've been too busy to blog.
(Valmiki is my hero!)
1) The "LOL" brigade:
=================
They use lol as a fullstop and finish every sentance with it.
Examples:
"I can't tank lol" < -- No kidding, Sherlock. Not after you crit shot pull a purple con, and then stick another arrow or two into it, so that by the time it reaches us it is mightly pissed at you. No, whipping out that teeny weeny shield is not going to help you. Oh please, next time when someone says dont crit pull, listen FFS lol.
Random Groupie: "You are a theurgist lol" < --- Unless being a theurgist is considered an extremely hilarious concept, I fail to see the mirth in it. But since I don't walk around laughing my head off like the village idiot, I probably don't see the gut-wrenching humor in it. Woe be me lol.
"I need to log lol" < -----wtf. You need to cancel, not log. Oh, lol.
2) The Capslock Crowd:
===================
Talk about wrong emphasis. THERE IS NO NEED TO TYPE IN CAPSLOCK every other statement you make in groupchat or just chat, unless you are leading something. Most often you will find the most unnecessary things in chat in CAPS. Like "CAN I HAVE DMG ADD AND HASTE PLZ". I can understand it in raids or in big gatherings of 40+ folks. But "CAN ANYONE REZ ME PLZ" is unwarranted. I hope you /RELEASE.
3) Buff Nitpickers:
==============
Nothing annoys me more than having to listen to some melee or the other in group giving a list of the buffs he wants ( base this, spec that, spec this, base that etc) to the cleric in the group, completely ignoring the fact that the cleric is trying to apportion the conc pool so that everyone in group gets some buffs.
But getting a /guard or an intercept from the same melee is nigh impossible since uber ganker_00 with his made-to-order buff list will be the first to "charge" 30 enemies and die ( and whine). Be happy to get any buffs you get and fight WITH the group and FOR the group. That 30 more Dex you whine for is not going to make a big difference in the battle, you know ( unless you are one of those Diablo 2 8vs8 lover or CounterStrike Assasins). Why is it so hard for you to accept that the cleric will buff EVERYONE as best as possible????
And please, don't ask the cleric about his/her spec and then share your insights. Do you see us asking your gimp 2H sword spec why you are not 50+11 shield with MoB 2 and what not, and then lecturing you why that is the best spec to suit us casters??
STFU with your buff fixation already.
4) Coke Laughers:
===============
"It made coke come through my nose!"; " I spit coke on my monitor"
These comments are even more aggravating when the hilarity of the said remark, (which supposedly made someone's mouth a food-and-drink sprinkler) is dubious to say the least. If you are spewing Coke and other assorted stuff out of your mouth everytime someone said something mildly humorous, you really need to reappraise yourself. Being a laugher is one thing, but being a frigging non-stop-regurgitator is another thing altogether. For god's sake man, pull yourself together. You can't go around making a mess of your desk more often than a 2 month old baby does its diapers. And even if you do, please don't sit in that cess pool of vomit you are sitting in ( from all the stuff you put in your mouth, choke on and spew at some comment or the other every 5 minutes), and POST about it. :P
Oh, get cleaned up too.
5) "I don't want to zerg":
==================
This comment gets my goat everytime. Why are you playing, you nincompoop? Oh I forgot, you like one Vs One encounters, or 8 Vs 8 encounters. This is NOT Diablo 2. This is a MASSIVELY MULTI-PLAYER game, and NO, 8 is not the upper limit for multi-player. Realms are at WAR with each other and your realm-point whoring greediness wants "small" encounters where you can pwn others. Oh STFU about your "skill" already! If you wanted to test your "skill", go to Pendragon, or get on IRC and go to one of those 100 duels happening all over the frontiers.
Tell me about lag making big battles unbearable, tell me about how people dont work together well in big battles, tell me you cant make your 100k per week quota if you move with a larger force, tell me keep taking/retaking is worthless since you get zero RP for it, but DONT TELL me that somehow more than 25 people fighting together is a demeaning act and beneath your uber skillful self. It is like telling you want to be a gun-toting Mullah in Washington. Just not gonna happen. Get a change of scenery or lose that attitude. Or better, get the heck off keep take/retake chats ( we consider assaulting Caer Crauchion as retaking BTW) if you don't want to be "zerging".
6) "My main on Merlin is a level 50...":
=============================
Stuff it. When I am on my level 10 char and group with other level 10 characters, I want to know how we are going to avoid that thug Cynewolf in Salis Plains. I don't care about your illustrious cross-server character-record, and your insights into the level 50 you play/played. It gets even worse when your "main" is the same class as some poor level 10 in the group. He/she gets unsolicited advise on how to "play".
It is different when everyone is chit-chatting about these things in downtime etc. But please, don't wave it like a frigging resume everytime you group. It gets mind-numbingly irritating.
7) Shanghaiing people into doing the Ellyl Epic:
=====================================
If you are level 50, and if you have not even have 10 FRIENDS ( Hint: You don't have to be guilded to have friends) who will help you with that pansy epic fight, quit already. Don't hijack a defense chat conveniently when near pennine to shanghai the three groups to go spend 30 more minutes to do your "epic". And PLEASE, once the fight is done, dont go get your epic and then immediately go to Emain, while us nincompoops are FINALLY doing what we had planned to do: Retaking some alb keep or the other.
For the love of all that is chizzy, do NOT driveby invite everyone on the pad and when some suckers join your group, let out the "secret" that you are getting people to help you in your epic fight and so have to wait 45 more minutes. ( while your other drive by invites come from lyonesse etc)
Yes I like helping realm mates. NO I don't like them taking my time for granted, especially those whom I don't even know.
If a person like ME can have friends, anyone can. Try it sometime.
8) Chat-Group Comedians:
======================
People who assume that the chat group is there for them to showcase their budding humor and flabby one-liners. When the chat has over a 100 people in it, and there are three or four of these nutmunchers in it, the chat becomes a torture.
EVERYTIME there is a Relic Defense, someone will say " Albs gathering at SF and ready to leave in 5 minutes!" ( SF is snowdonia fortress). IMMEDIATELY one of these Suckaday Night Live clowns will say "Wow? San Francisco? It has not been discovered yet!". I bet that once they type that out in chat, they get overwhelmed by their own wit and LOL and LMAO and ROFL etc.
I think it was Satya ( could be wrong on the name) who summed it up best in the last relic defense chat, when the inevitable SF "joke" got cracked not once but two times within 2 minutes by two DIFFERENT comedians. She said "This is defense chat. Not retard chat". After that the comedians kinda sulked off.
9) "W00t"
=======
It is irrational, and inexplicable, but my hackles rise everytime someone says "w00t". Wtf is woot? and why does it have to be said everytime you level, everytime you kill someone, everytime you port, or everytime you get some item??
I hate Wooters. I like Hooters ( The Family Restaurant you perv! What were you thinking???), but I hate w00ters, irrespective of the magnificence of their h00ters ( Not the Family restaurant, you despicable parent who takes kids to a restaurant where chicks with HUGE b00b jobs serve food)
10) Long Posts
============
Need I say more? :-p
Valmiki.
