January 2005 Archives

I need to stop myself from posting on Sunday nights. I think if I was to go back and look at all of the things I did on Sunday nights, it would be ridiculous. The problem with this liverjounal is that I seem so whiney in it. I definatly need to work on that, a lot. Oh well. I think I figured out how to stay sane during the day. If I have a rough plan of what I'd like to do every hour (assignments, class, eating, gym, etc) then I hope to allow for more sanity in my life.

For example. Today in the three hour long block in between my classes I had scheduled to do: Blog Stuff, math137 assignment, CS reading. Of course there was an hour left for lunch and stuff at the end, but I moved that to the front. So I'm hopefully going to be able to stick with this schedule. I'm looking at my day, and it's really full. I'm essentially doing something from now until 11:00. Assuming of course that I actually follow through with it. Ugh. I don't remember what I was going to even talk about. I wish I was as interesting as I used to be. I think a lot of that left me when I got to UW. I was dumped head first into a lot of work. Then, even more things that I need to do on the side. I need to prepare for my co-op interview. I really need to finish reading the four massive books I have, and I really need to put that computer together.

That's something fun. I got a co-op interview. Not with a company I'd like to work with, and not necessarily at a job I'd like to do. But oh well. I really need to get on all that shit. I'm farther behind in XML and PHP than I'd like to be. I haven't even started looking at SQL or ASP. I haven't touched all the computer stuff either. I really need to take time, reclean my room, and do that. Probably tomorrow.

Going to Woody's with Miguel was fun. It was my first time there, and it doesn't surprise me at all that I went with him. Adam missed out though because he was all the way in North Bay. Silly Adam, why would you go up to the artic. It was fun though; I can't remember if I mentioned it already or not. It wasn't at all like how I had expected it to look. Probably because I'm looking at it through cuts from scenes in QAF (assuming that they filmed the inside scenes in there). I liked it though, minus the feeling of being really out of place.

I don't understand people sometimes. Generally I'm able to understand people, quirks and all. However right now is one of those points in time where I have no idea how people are thinking that they think. This stems from a long number of complaints from people about things I do. For reasons I don't understand at all. Not everything revolves around deeply rooted insecurities. For the most part, I'm going to do something just to do it. Not with tons of planning, or consideration of factors. Essentially it's a first come first serve kind of thing, where the first thing that pops up is the one I'm going to do. Speaking of things that pop up. Calculus just popped up.

Loss of Sanity: 21:17.
I just realized that there is a massive amount of work that I need to get done. I'm going to blog just so I can get this all out of my ssytem and hopefully get to work. My cheeks are really warm; I'm not feeling too good. I just want it to go away. I want to skip university all together. I'm not enjoying my time at waterloo at all. I need to talk to someone about this, but I'm not sure who.

Let's look at what I need to get done. I have to do a CS134 Project for Wednesday. Normally this project is done in groups, up to three people. I don't know anyone in my class. It makes me really sad. There's no one for me to do any of these projects with, and I'm not capable of doing them myself. I think I'm going to go to the CS tutorial centre tomorrow after German (barf) and tell them that I think I need help on it because I haven't started and I have no group. I feel so warm right now, it's not even funny. Also on Wednesday, I have my Japanese Test. Hopefully I'll be able to remember all of the things I need to. Unfortunately, I'm never able to remember words in that stupid class and I always choke on the tests. I feel even more sick now. Thursday I have a MATH136 Assignment due, and Friday I have a MATH137 assignment due. Next Monday is the first MATH136 Midterm. I actually think I'm going to cry now. Guh. I hate all the work we have to do here. So I'm not going to talk about it. I'm just going to go talk to my professors and tell them how I'm sick and been missing class, and I need help on the assignments.

Return of Sanity 23:56.
Ok I'd like to think my sanity has returned now. So I'm going to try and give a quick review of the weekend that was like a rollercoaster for my brain. Thursday and Friday were sketchy days. I wasn't feeling in a good mood, and I didn't go to class at all. I've been really not dealing well with class lately. Hopefully it will get better now. I really need to figure out what's wrong. But I digress. You may notice random spelling errors recently. Well that's because I managed to ruin my keyboard. I'm going to need to buy a new one. I'm going to use this until it completely explodes. It's in much better condition than it was on friday though. It's sad. My poor Wireless Natural MultiMedia Keyboard. It essentially ruined my friday night, which was bound to suck anyways because it's a friday night in Waterloo. My roommates we're gone. I was going crazy. I didn't enjoy the night at all. I watched TV. Witch Hunter Robin looks really good. I'm going to have to look into that. Beasties was on too. I haven't seen that show in forever. It alway reminds me of "In The End" by Linkin Park, and Vice Versa.

So by Saturday I was ready to explode. Much like I am now, because of this annoying keyboard. I actually phoned my family for over an hour, trying to get them to come pick me up. Eventually they did. This meant two things: Laundry would get done, and I would go out with Miguel. Both I needed a lot. I was about to lose it here at Waterloo (evident in the fact that I lost it earlier tonight). So I got home around 5:00, and went to get Miguel shortly after. I went to Limeridge and got a belt at Tommy Hillfiger because it was the only place that had a 32" belt in the whole mall. It was upseting that I had to spend $65 on a belt. So we went back to Oakville, picked up my brother's girlfriend and the three of us went to Booster Juice and Extreme Pita (Yes, without my brother - don't ask). Then Miguel and I eventually went downtown.

That was a lot of fun. A great way to spend a Saturday night. We went to Woody's. So it was great, minus the fact that Woody's is kinda gross. I had fun though. We found one of Miguel's friends and he and I talked about the other people in the bar, while Miguel sorta danced to himself. Then he entered the Best Legs contest, but lost to a straight boy. It was still funny though. After we were going to go home when I decided I was hungry. So walked to find somewhere to eat we ran into one of Miguel's friends (who I believe was named Mike) and the three of us eventually went to Pizza Pizza where I had the worst tasting pizza ever. I was so offended. So we went back to the car and drove home, arriving sometime after three and watching Russell Peters for a second time that night before falling asleep.

Sunday when we woke up my mom made Grilled Cheese. She felt bad because she knew I hated it, and there was nothing else she could make. So I think that's why she put up with me when I went to try and find an H2O+. My mom didn't want me to go to Eaton's Center which is where I knew there was one. So she had me drive to Square One to check if there was one there first (which there obviously wasn't). So we had to make a big loop out of the way to go up the 403 to the 401, and then to the 427 so we could go back down to the Gardiner. It was annoying. So I was late on being back to return to waterloo. It was 1:30 when I left, which is when my mom wanted to leave. So then I had to drive Miguel back to Hamilton. I was late.

On top of that, when I was coming back to Oakville on King Street someone hit me from behind. Luckily he was hit into me, so I was't hurt and there was no damage. Sucked for the other two vans though. I had to tell the guy what to ask for because it was his first accident. I gave him my number after and told him my parents will be able to get ahold of me if he needs anything. So that was another delay. I finally got back to Oakville on quickly on MSN to a number of people (*cough* boywhocriedboy *cough*) harassing me to do certain things (which I did by the way). Then it was phoning Jon to get his address, and then off to get him to return to Waterloo. He was going to visit Jill; it's cute to hear about them like that.

When I got to Waterloo I wasn't enjoying the fact that I was back. I went shopping for food to try and make it better. And as you can tell from the earlier post, it didnt' turn out too well. Luckily I took my pills, phoned my mom, and she calmed me dow. Then I read CS a bit, and took a shower. Now I feel better. Adam is taling into me the remaining sanity that I'll need to sleep. It's all good, all the time.

Before I forget: A great thing I saw when I got back. My Sympatico DSL was finally working. I was extremely happy. They even left me two messages on my phone about it while I was gone. It was nice to hear from them, especially considering it was like three weeks before the problem got resolved. I don't know how they did it, but I love them for it.

I'm going to blog now, because I've already accepted that I'm not going to go to class today. I only had 3 hours of sleep. It was fine 20 minutes ago when I was bouncing around, but now I've come crashing down and I'm in no mood to do class. This is bad. I need to start going. I never did get around to doing hte assignments I wanted to. That's ok. After a nap I'm going to take [Warning: This sentence no longer makes sense. Please hang up, and stop being a moron.] Let's try that again. I'm going to take a nap, and then work on my assignments. It should be fun. By fun, I clearly mean not fun at all. It's math assignments, and then CS. German homework (fuck, I hate that class). Yech. Oh well. I'm going to go to the gym. Then shower and get all clean. It's going to be fun.

I think I like this layout. I think I like this layout a lot. As Miguel said (which I didn't expect at all), it's "cute but classy". I tend to stare at it like a loser. I'd like to take this oppurtunity to say that half way through typing the entry, I got tired and left little sentences to remind myself what I wanted to talk about. Then I proceeded to take a nap. When I came back, I got on msn to recieve an email message saying Mel had commented on the entry. I had never actually posted it. So I went to edit it and finish it; the entry was gone. It was so weird. So I may as well finish the entry now.

Math class has funny people it it. And hot boys. I didn't go this morning because I went straight back to bed after my 40 minute energy high wore off. I slept until now too. The people in the class are good though. For a while this kid would sit three seats down for me. I swear the kid must have been ADD, and OCD. He would always twitch, and shake his leg. Problem is, any movement he mad would be felt by me because of the way the tables were. So it wasn't very pleasant. He would also wear the same wolf shirt for like 5 days in a row; I'd see him around campus and sigh. So yesterday when there were two funny people directly behind me, and two hot boys down to the left of them, it made me smile.

I have a dirty secret that only Kristin (unpredkristen) would appreciate. It fully blossomed last night, and I'm loving every minute of it so far.

Here's a fun one before I start my math assignments. Well technically it's a fun one while I'm waiting for my food to digest so I Can go to the gym, then start my math assignments. Saying I'm going to do math just sounds so much more productive. If I can get this assignment done tonight, I'll be back on a schedule that should eventually put me ahead of the game. I was hoping to have the two math 136 assignments done yesterday, so I could do math 137 and the math 136 matlab tomorrow. However, my plan is to get math136 a3 done tonight, and then tomorrow I'm going to do math137:a3,a4 and math136:matlab,a4. That way I'll be able to do my german, japanese, and cs over the weekend. Buh. That's way too much work for me to want to think about.

I got the results back from my frist blood test, and I don't think I mentioned it. My liver enzyme count was 10 times higher than it should be. Woot. So I had to get a second test, and odds are I'll have to get a third test done when I get the results back for that one. It's good times all around (Note: sarcasm). So, that's going to be tons of fun. I was really sick yesterday after I got the blood taken. I felt dizzy and sweaty for over an hour. Luckily that has passed. I was worried it wouldn't and I'd collapse today. Not that it matters; I skipped German and Calculus.

We had a discussion about how UWaterloo has one of the most depressing campuses in the world. For those of you haven't ever been here, it's all a bunch of plain square buildings that range in colour from brown to grey. When it snows, all of the colour is literally sucked from the campus. It snows a lot. So it leads to a large number of seasonal depression cases (and how can fucking blame them). Nothing is done to spice up the winter that will last about 4 or 5 months from start to finish. The dons (god bless their hearts) can't get anything done to cheer us up, because there is nothing to do. KW is one of the most boring places in the world. Stef was up to visit on the weekend. On Friday, we spent over an hour driving around just to find a place to eat. To eat. We found the only Jack Astor's in the area. There was nothing else worth going to (and don't you dare say East Side Mario's, I hate it there).

Russell Peters is the funniest man alive. He's become the "in" thing at UW. You walked around everywhere, and you hear people quoting him. What's great is, unlike Napolean Dynomite which people quote because it's stupid, Russell Peters is actually funny. For those of you who haven't seen him, you're really missing out. You should get on that right now. I can't wait for him to come to UW. March 3! Josh and I were talking about how we're going to have to get tickets so early. He's right; it's going to sell out in like 3 days.

I brightened the colours on the layout, in an attempt to kill time and make it look more cheerful. No one noticed (:P). Kristen, my post from one year ago today is found here. It was a discussion Jess(killerfish) and I had about how Barone and I got in a fight in calculus. Some things never change. With that, I have nothing else to say. So here are some quizes.

I need to do my CS assignment. I also need to post this stupid entry before it gets pushed back and forgotten about. I would like to take this oppurtunity to talk about how much my parents rule. I would go so far as to say they could compete and place very highly in a "Best Parents in the World" Competition. They take amazing care of me; they even spoil me. For example. They've paid so much just so I could be in MKV. They've dealt with all of my bitching and moaning about how I hate it here, and done everything they can to make it better. They're paying my phone bill (which in a sense is fair because I only ever call home on that line). They pay my cell phone bill too. I have a TV in my room and playstation, and a near top of the line computer. On top of that they paid for some of the parts on the linux box I'm putting together.

There's more: I was talking to my dad last week about how boring the gym is, and how I want something to entertain myself with while I"m there. That was Monday night. By 4:00pm on Tuesday I had placed and order for a 40GB iPod at Campus Tech, and money was transfered to my bank account so I could pay for it. My dad calls me everyday now, just to see what's going on. I thin kthe fact that I go to the gym so much really impresses him. I was never the kind of person who goes to the gym. I was never the kind of person who played sports for that matter, which I think deep down disappointed him. What can you expect from someone who went to the college bowl three out of four years of University football, and won twice? It's only fair. Yes.

They're buying me a fridge for my room, because I'm having a problem with my food either being eaten or thrown out when it's in the kitchen. I really appreciate how much they put up with me. I really need to learn to cook though, it would make things perfect. For housing next year, I told them I don't want to live in residence or with many people. So they're looking for 2 bedroom apartments in the UW area so I can have somewhere to stay. Stef will probably stay with me. Only thing is she'd be on opposite coop stream. So I'd have the place to myself except for when she comes to visit. It'd be good.

Now, I feel really sick. So I'm heading out.

Please Dear God! Buy me BoA!

I'm killing time right now, instead of reading and doing my CS. It will get done later. I need to finish up tidying my room. I want to convert the rest of my archives so that its embedding properly. Right now I've finished everything in 2003, and I'm almost done March in 2004. That only leaves what, 5 months where I had a layout? Then I need to get a new fucking layout up. Two new fucking layouts up actually. I'm such a slacker. I need to get photoshop installed again. So much to do with that.

I almost regret my last entry. It served no purpose at all. It was something like 4 paragraphs of nothing. It makes me wish I had used enough logic to just hit delete, instead of stop typing and hit enter. Oh well, what's done is done. I'm not really upset about it though. That was the weird thing. Throughout the whole entry, I wasn't angry. I was just really annoyed, and took the oppurtunity to vent. Ironically, I think it was exactly what I needed to be completely done with that whole thing. I don't even care anymore. I won't forget how much I enjoyed things, but I'm not going to be some little princess and whine about it. I don't hae enough time to care.

I have to say, I'm extremely excited for my cruise in April. They make me so happy. I can't wait to get tanned. That's what I'm going to do while I'm there. Tan, and drink. Oh and use the gym alot, because I'm sure it's gorgeous. The gym, and the spa.I feel like such a little princess saying that, but right now I don't care. I'm too excited about the cruise. I don't even remember where we're going. Although I doubt it's anywhere new.

Somtimes a girl just needs one.

I'm not sure how to get all my thoughts for this together, so I think I'm going to just let it flow and see where I go with it. I truly love how I'm now pathetic. It just puts the sprinkles to go with the cherry on top of the cake that has been my bad day. Strangely enough, but day wasn't even that bad. It was interesting. I guess I'll start from the top. I've had a crappy crappy week. I thought I had already established that, but apparently not. I don't know what I would do without people like Asha and Krys to keep me sane. Joshu too. His floormates rock. Times like this I wish I was in REV. I'm really not looking forward to the blood test results. I don't think I have anything serious to worry about, but it's never ever fun to get blood work done. Lacking horomones isn't fun. It does explain a lot of things though. Oh well. My neck hurts. The gym has been making me sore, but I love it. For those of you who are too clueless to pick up on it, I'm incredibly insecure about my body. Most people have no idea though, which I find amusing. Especially my liver-defect enduced elbow dry skin condition. That's always fun. People are assholes.

For the last two days Phil's been tearing at me. Well three days now. It's never fun. Phil is probably one of the people I respect most in my life. So to have him tear at every single statement I made wasn't fun to go through. It was ridiculous things to. Everything some how related back to him going to Vancouver, and some strange justification that I didn't understand. A justification through my current unhappiness in Waterloo. Well I'm sorry I fucking hate it here. I'm not a princess though; I'll get over it. I'm working on getting over it. CIF is helping a lot. Both with the getting over of the hatred, and with the self esteem. Damn my fucking neck hurts.

Adam yelled at me today too. He didn't really yell. In fact, he didn't yell at all. He talked about how he hated seeing me like this. Almost like I was disappointing him. That in itself was far more effective than any amount of yelling could have been. I've taken so much shit from people recently. It's helping me justify why boys are definatly not worth it at all. I think I'm about ready to give up. I don't understand why it's such a big deal though. Some people seem to have gotten really offended. I'm sorry for you. I think to all those people, I'm going to stick with the line that I feel works best: Suck it up princess.

If I choose to like someone, that's my decision. If I choose to fall head over heels for someone, that's my decision. Notice that at no point did anyone else come into play in that decision making process. Now, how I act on those feelings may be influenced by other people. If I choose to like someone, and sit and wait, then that's what I'm going to do. A decision to not take an active part in going after a person, due to the fact that it's unlikely to happen is a good decision to make in this case. Don't fucking call me pathetic. Pathetic would be going after a person I like, constantly badgering them to get with me. Asking questions like "Why aren't we together" and "Why can't you date me". Do you see me doing that? I should hope not. If you do, you may want to check yourself into an institution, because it's definatly not happening.

Sigh. Here's the disappointing thing: This entry, much like faceparty, will have helped me achieve nothing by the end of it. Which is why I'm considering ending it now. I'm going to go party at REV. With Asha. And get a massage. Fuck the world. Barone, I still love you though.

I'm waiting for my food to digest before I head to the gym, so I thought I'd blog. Interesting story. I went grocery shopping today with Mike. I don't have money to spend on groceries, so I splurged and bought two bags of cookies. We came back, Mike put them in the cupboard as I was getting ready to eat. I figured I'd move them into my room when I was done dinner. So I walked to REV to get dinner but the caf was closed. So I walked to V1 and got a sub. I ate it and came back. What had happened in what was less than half an hour? One of the bags was gone. Go fucking figure. I'm angry. I'm annoyed. At this point, I don't think I'd care if he found out. I'd never say anything to his face because I'm too nice for that. But I know it was him. Dave's gone, and Mike didn't take them. So at this point I've had it with all the little quirks. As helpful as he's tried to be it's just not enough anymore. Never ever have I seen him do the dishes. Ever. The one time he "helped" with the dishes, he washed about two of them. I did the rest. The dirty dishes are all his too. Him and his friends always come in and make a mess in the lounge. Then they eat all the food and dirty all the dishes. Never do they clean them either. So that does it. I'm never ever again going to put food in that cupboard. I'm about ready to take out everything that is mine in there. In fact. After I finish on the phone with Sympatico, I'm going to go bring them into my room and then go to the gym. Fuck.

There's another thing that bothers me. Whatever fucking modem they sent me doesnt work. At this point in time I'm fed up. Especially since they're charging me for this. My annoyance is just building up to the point where I'm going to explode on everyone about everything that's been bothering me. It's not healthy. Speaking of not healthy. I hate boys. I've decided. They are not worthing liking, dating, sexing. Anything. Period. You find a boy where you think it can fucking work, and what happens? It doesn't work. Should I be surprised? No not really. I'm still upset though. I guess that's what you get. Not really worth my time. No matter how much people tell me I should think positive, because thinking positive equals being positive which leads to confidence and results - I just don't see it happening. I just don't care anymore. Conversation is dead, no matter how I try. The interest is waning simply because I don't see a future in this. Oh well.

So that brings up the question of what am I going to do for the next hop. Well, I essentially was going for him. I was going with Adam and Miguel, but deep down I was going for him. So, as I begin the 3 step process of getting rid of this, I'm going to have to figure out what I need to do. As much as Miguel suggests "play hard to get" I won't do it. Well, not with the intention of doing it so he wants me. That would be stupid. I don't work like that anyways. I'm just going to get over it. If sometime later there seems to be a spark of interest, then maybe we can move on from there. At this point, as sad as it is to say it, I don't expect it. Even with the dreams I've started having. Stupid, fucking dreams. The good news is, I get my blood test results back on thursday. I don't think I need to worry though. I feel like I'm getting back in the game. I think. I think I don't care anymore. I'm going to the gym, to work off this frustration, and annoyance, and anger, and sadness (bad grammar!) and whatever the fuck else I feel like working off.

Well, the countdown is on. One month is the time frame for this challenge. If it's possible to achieve in the time frame, I'm sure I'll be abel to achieve it. I've been planning on it for a while now, and at this point in time I'm actually inpsired enough to do it; plus it's getting me an iPod.

Speaking of that inspiration, what a weekend I had. Friday during the day I was off the friggen walls. I was so excited, and happy. Over all, I was in one of the best moods I had been in that I can remember. If only I was still in that good mood by the end of the weekend. It's not that Friday night and Saturday were bad. It was just certain things. For instance, the realization that no matter how hard I try, unless someone eis willing to try with me nothing is going to happen. It was just a little disheartening [Note: Mr. Anonymous, I expect you to continue commenting since I'm sure it makes your day to know how I feel right now]. As upset as I am, I don't think this one's going to stop any time soon, no matter how much other people would like it to.

Ironically, I've found myself wanting a relationship recently. To most peopel this is either going to be confusing or fucking hilarious (I know Miguel got a number of great laughs out of it). Mainly because I can never get a relationship to work. This isn't an invitation for the world to look at me as fresh meat that they can come harass so I'll date them. There are a few conclusions I've come to on the subject. Saturday after a long talk with Natasha I've decided a number of things need to be a certain way for a relationship to work. First, for me to be in a relationship with someone, there needs to be a lot of common interests. Not every single common interest, but either a good chunk of common interests, or similar interests. I'm trying to work around it, but for the most part I'm not going to bring it up anymore. I'm not that needy. Second, there needs to be a similar maturity level. I've had a number of problems with this one in the not-so-recent past. Essentially almost all of them up until September. I've also had some cases where I have to act as the immature one. Not going to happen anymore. Now, this one doesn't worry me so much. Two cases exist that I can think of, and both of them there's no major problem. Third, I need to understand the person and how they work, and they need to have at least some idea about how I work. This one has caused me nothing but trouble in the past.

I had a long talk with Adam on Saturday too. Mainly about what the hell we're going to do with our lives. For the most part it was me. I don't know what I'm going to do after school. Hell, I don't even know what I'm going to do for co-op. There's so much I'm doing right now to try and become remotely qualified. Consider the following: I'm extremely comfortable with HTML, XHTML, and CSS. I can get PHP to work for me. XHTML is a type of XML. Now consider what I need to do to try and get a basic web development placement. I'm going through massive books on the following: XML, PHP, SQL, ASP. On top of having a massive book for it, I'm also building a second PC to run Red Hat Linux to try and figure that out. All I need is a KVM switch. Or a second monitor and keyboard and junk. The switch it looking like the more appealing option. Now with all this, what is it I want to do when I graduate? Open a night club. Omai.

Sunday when I got back to Waterloo the strangest thing happened to me. I was feeling really really wierd, so I decided I'd go visit Kate (the don). I walked into her room , got halfway through asking if she was busy and then broke down. I have no idea how she did it, but she did. Man I felt dumb. I was standing there almost laughing: "I have no idea how or why I'm crying!" It was amusing. So we sat and talked. I told her how I essentially ruined everything on the weekend. I went over pretty much the whole week. We talked about how I hate it here, but moving away isn't really a good option. So the conclusion was go to Toronto for co-op, and go to CIF alot. I'm attempting to do both. I got a locker in CIF today. I also ordered my iPod! Yay Yay Yay! I'm excited for the gym now. Except I don't get the iPod for like two weeks. So I'm working with torrent site that are still running to download what I think I want (which isn't much considering all the CDs I own).

Monday sucked. I woke up to find that I had lost $150 cash I was planing to deposit. So that was a huge kick in the pants. I still haven't found it. I don't expect to find it either. Some lucky fuck probably found it. So much for getting comp parts. I had to take money out my flex dollars. And now I'm short for the KVM switch. It's all really crappy. Oh well. I'll figure it all out. I went to four banks yesterday to try and apply for Credit Cards. I was autoapproved at TD for the GM card. Royal Bank had me fill something out. I need to fill something out for CIBC. ScotiaBank won't give me one until I have a job. So now I'm getting cards. I need to go do my fucking CS Assignment now.

Well 1B is definatly in full swing. I've handed two assignments in. I have another one due tomorrow. I need to sketch three questions, but it's not going to get done tonight. I'm just too tired. It will get done though. I have a plan. Wake up at 7. Math at 9:30. German at 10:30. Then do the rest of the assignment before it's due at 12. Oh man. I'm going to have to do it during German and Math. This isn't fun. Guh.

I've found myself ridiculously tired this week. Wednesday I actually fell asleep in Calculus and Japanese. It wasn't very cool at all. I just couldn't stay awake anymore. I would try really hard to concentrate on something just so I wouldn't fall asleep, but it didn't work. I would feel my eyes drooping, and then my head would jolt back and forth, or I would get really dizzy. It wasn't very fun. It made learning hard too. After Japanese Josh and I went for our semi-usual dinner experience at REV's caf. It was good to catch up on everything we'd been missing. It's nice to still talk to people when you hardly see them, and even though they're on your msn you don't talk.

Today was a good day. I didn't fall asleep in class. I was cranky, but I didn't fall asleep. I tried to get some of my calculus done, but I was in no mood to do it (which is why I have three questions left to do tomorrow). After class I got ready to go out for the night. I was going out with Jeremy all over Waterloo Region. First I got on the 101 Express to Fairview Mall. He met me there (our busses arrived at the exact same time). I went looking in Bell World for a replacement battery. I had dropped it in class, and the clip broke. So my phone was out of service. Unfortunately they didn't have any in stock. So we wandered the mall (which sucked) and then left. We took a bus into Cambridge (after being in Kitchener) to go to Chapters. We got Starbucks (warui desu, ne?) and wandered around in Chapters. Then we went to his school for an Art Show that he was taking pictures of. By the end I was tired. We went to another mall to get food, and get a battery. The girl at the Bell World gave me her personal extra one. I nearly died. Then I rode on the bus for two hours to get home.

I'm going home tomorrow. Somewhere after class I'm going to go visit Heather and Alex because they're visiting, and then try and get some (or all) of my CS assignment done. I'm going home on the train (densha de ikimasu) so I'm only bringing my Japanese and Algebra homework. Friday night as far as things stand I'm going to be in Toronto. Which means I'll be there for Saturday. Yay Toronto. Originally I had a doctors appointment, but it was cancelled. So no worries for the fun times. Then I'm spending time with Natasha and Adam. Yay fun times. Sunday is probably more homework and coming home. Woot. Ok Bed.

Resumes suck a lot. I had a really good one. The only problem is it's gone. I don't htink it would have been relevant anyways. So now I need to remake one, which isn't fun at all. I have a meeting tomorrow at 1:30 with Resume Blitz so that should be helpful I hope. I'm going to wake up at 7:00 tomorrow. It's my new official wake up time. So that should help me with time to do some touchups on my resume (rather, do some fillups). I'm going to try and think about relevant things I can put on a resume. The problem is, I dont know what job I'm going to be applying for, so it makes this really useless. Sigh.

I fixed my schedule finally. It's set to go, and I'm happy. It's generally two classes in a row, and then breaks. It's good. Eew. I have German homework I need to do tomorrow to. And CS reading. Then I need to do the assignment. This fucking sucks. I just realized I have a lot to do, and I don't want to do any of it. Oh well. I think I'm going to do as much of the resume as I can now (hopefully I'll finish it), then tomorrow I'll do what's left of the resume, my German work, and read my CS before the lecture. I can do it! I hope.

I was bored in between the classes today attempting to fix things and fill my time, so I browsed my friends' friends pages. The only one out of the HT group who has more people on her friends page that weren't from HT than anyone else was punkcapella. I was surprised. Well I guess not really. It also surprised me the number of people who had added _hotelpaper_ to their friends list. None of this is relevant. I'm makin oatmeal. I really need to tidy my room. I also need to get back to the resume. But later.

I had one of the greatest weekends of my life last weekend. It was so much fun. Friday night, Miguel took me to his friends party. I had so much fun. I made friends with the asian girl there. First thing I did too. It was classic. Then! Then, on TV was the south park episode where it's half anime and there's japanese and stuff. I attempted to translate, but I was no where near the right state of mind. Oh well. I had a great time though, even if I only came out with one email. I have memories, and pictures (which reminds me, people! Send me pictures!).

Saturday was a great day. Miguel, Adam and I went downtown and got a hotel room to get ready for the hop. We went to Pizza Hut, predrank, and then went around 11:00. The line sucked. We were outside for like 30 minutes. So many boys. It was fun. Miguel got us in near the front of the line becuase he knew people. It was good. Inside, we got our tickets, and Adam and I went to the coat check so Miguel could go socialize. That's when it started. We were near the front, when this boy stopped across from me. I nearly died. I'm pretty sure it was really obvious. He was being obvious too. Then he was gone. I went in, and Miguel and Adam went to the bar. So I stood by myself. Miguel got me some stuff, so I was good. Then the boy came back. We spent the night together. It was amazing. I was so happy. No matter what other people say about it.

Mokuyoobi, moeteiru. Moku moku moku moku moeteiru. Kaji~ da kaji da, yamakaji da. Kaji~ da kaji da, yamakaji da.
Today is thursday. I've finished my first two days of 1B. Meh. Here's a run down of the last few days.

Getsuyoobi, Waratteru. Gera gera gera gera waratteri. Otsuki~sama wa kigahenda. Otsuki~sama wa kigahenda.
Monday when I woke up, I wanted to kill myself. I was in a horrible mood. I was not looking forward to coming back at all. I was actually fighting with my parents all day. Loading stuff in and packing. It made for a really crappy night. I didn't enjoy it at all. We went to Front Row for dinner, and then when they left I was ready to scream and/or cry and/or puke. It wasn't fun. So I took my pills and junk, and went to bed.

Kayoobi, okoteru. Kakka kakka kakka kakka okoteru. Hibachi no sumi wa okorinbo. Hibachi no sumi wa okorinbo.
Tuesday when I woke up I was in a ridiculously good mood. I woke up at 9:00 when my alarm was getting ready to go off, and didn't have class until 11:30. So I figured I could sleep a little more. Here's the great part. I didn't fall back asleep. I wasn't even tired. It was good times. Good, good times. So I got out of bed, after trying to warm up and went on msn. I got to complain to people about how I was cold, and how they should carry me to the shower in my blanket so I can stay warm and not drag the blanket around. Suffice to say it didn't work out like that. So I pondered my series of wierd dreams. The depressing part? For all of tuesday I had been able to completely remember my dreams. I don't even remember part of them now. The second one was about gangs, and GTA: San Andreas. But that's all I remember. I think I even liked my first dream more. Oh well.

So I got out of bed and showered and junk. Showering felt so good. It was all nice and warm; the blue was washing out of my hair. I was happy. It didn't stay black for long, but it was gone for the time being. Then I got out and started my new hygiene regimen. Wash hands, wash piercings, brush teeth, rinse soap from piercings use sea salt water, shave, wash face with clean and clear stuff, more sea salt water on piercings, oxypad, sea salt water, other clean and clear stuff, sea salt water, disinfectant. It's good times. Lots of good times all over. After that I went and got a hot chocolate and a bagel with cream cheese from Tim Horton's. Yum. Unfortunately I have no money on my WatCard anymore (Remember this fact for later). So food gets interesting. Then I went to CS134. It was fun. I think I'll like my prof. She seems nice (female prof count: 4[plus extra female Japanese assistant] and I haven't been to Algebra).

After that I spent something like three hours trying to fix C&C: Generals before giving up. EA failed big time on that game. They need to get me a new CD I think. I'm going to try it at home to see if it's a network thing or not. Sigh. It makes me so sad. I didn't get to play with Jeremy, which is essentially the reason I bought the game. So I gave up and napped. Then I walked to Sobey's with Helen for shopping. Yay Groceries. Boo carrying groceries back. I'm so sore. My shoulder hurt, my arms are sore and bruised, and my back has pains shooting through it everywhere. It's not fun at all. I wasn't even in the mood to cook after that, which was the purpose of going. So I made cookies and Helen made fish and potatoes. Only, they hurt my stomach to eat them (and I ate them again afterwards).

Suiyoobi, oyoideru. Sui sui sui sui oyoideru, Mizusumashi wa mizu no ue. Mizumashi wa misu no ue.
I woke up at 8 with even less sleep on Wendesday, yet I still wasn't tired. I love it. It was good. I got up showered, did my routine and was out by 9. I went and got my CS course notes, and got a bagel and a bottle of water (which I prefer to hot chocolate I've decided). It was yummy. I walked around looking at the posters they're selling. I'd like to buy some, but I don't think I'm going to; I don't have the money. So that settles it. I went to German, and sat next to Helen's friend Krystal. She helped carry the groceries last night after we collapsed outside of REV. It was fun. I learned how to say "I'm sloshed". It was fun. One problem: I had a serious urge to add desu and desuka to the end of every sentence. At one point someone asked my name and I was like, "Watashi wa Maiku desu!" compelte with anime child accent. I got some wierd looks. Bonus of taking a class that Arts students take: Attractive people in your classes!! Woot. I'm happy. Eyecandy is fun.

After that I wandered to the pharmacy to see if I could get the MagCal I need. Nope. Perscription required for the dosage I need. So, my mom has to get it for me from my doctor tomorrow when she goes for her appointment. Yay MagCal! Sleep again. So I went to the SLC to wander some more.
Enter: The Most Awesome Day I've Had At UW
I was walking in to the SLC from the Village side, headed towards the poster displays (again) when I heard my name. I turned around and saw Krys! I was so happy. I hadn't seen her in forever. We talked about amusing stories, like how I failed Calculus, and she failed Shakespeare (Shake-eh-spear!). We were in the midst of talking about how I know everyone when I heard my name again. It was Jill! YAY! She tackle hugged me and I was happy. She was with her friend Jon from York. We wound up talking for over an hour. Then I skipped Algebra to talk with them some more over lunch. Only Krys, Jon and I didn't actually eat lunch. It was just Jill and Eric (Jill's boyfriend who met up with us). So we told Oakvilel stories, because all three of us were from Oakville. It was great. At one point I laughed so much I was sore from my stomach all the way up to my cheeks. I couldn't breathe, and I was coughing. It was great. Then we went to Shakespeare. Only, we went to the wrong class. Not only did we go to the wrong class, we sat down and when someone was talking to us about the class she heard us talking about Shakespeare and was like, "Oh no, I'm in the wrong class!" So I was like, "You're my hero!" and I gave her a high five. Then she came back was said, "I'm not in the wrong class, you guys are!" It was so funny. We did manage to find the class though. We passed notes back and forth. Well, Jon and I did. We were sitting on opposites sides of our group too. After that was Math. God, kill me for failing Calculus. We did number lines, and domain. I cried. Luckily Jon was there to keep my company so he drew pictures and we laughed.

After that was Japanese. Oh man. Aishiteru Nihongo! <3. The class was so funny. A good chunk of it was people from 1A so we already know each other. We were talking about being given things. It was great. We went over Hiragana, and introduced ourselves.

Sushi o tabeshita! Doko ni sushi o tabemashita ka? SLC! They don't have Sushi there. Do too!

Then I came back and passed out.

Note to everyone. The SLC has sushi now. So go try it. I haven't tried it yet, but I'm going to. Mmm sushi. Oh well. We started Katakana today. I'm happy. Happy Happy Happy. Yay.

Today I'm going to finish organizing my binders and jazz, and clean my room some more. And play the sims. YAY the sims 2! <3

When will it ever end. Sigh.

The 2004 Buisness
Best _____ of the year:
01. party: Malanka
02. show: QAF to win.
03. cd: Britney Spears - My Perogative
04. movie: Ocean's Twelve
05. song: Nikkifurie - The a la Menthe
06. experience: Math. :|
07. concert: John Mayer <3
08. book: So far they all sucked. People's Tragedy should be good.
09. month: August
10. day: With Adam on Church.

Worst ____ of the year:
01. party: HT Prom.
02. show: The Swan
03. cd: Ashley Simpson - Autobiography
04. movie: The Butteryfly Effect and Napolean Dynomite tie as worst movies ever made.
05. song: Hoobastank - The Reason
06. experience: Uni
07. concert: Bob.
08. book: Early Transcendentals Single Variable
09. month: May for the lose.
10. day: HT Prom

Hopes for 2005:
01. predict something you think will happen in 2005?: Steven Harper dies due to extreme idiocy.
02. what do you hope changes about your country?: People get smart enough to realise voting CC, or Green is a waste. NDP too.
03. what do you hope for yourself?: Better Uni experiences, and figuring out the talking thing.
04. what do you hope for your family?: China.
05. what do you hope for your best friend?: A boyfriend who understans her.

During 2004:
01. where were you when it began?: The Loft.
02. did you stay up?: For the most part.
03. what was your new year wish?: Sex.
04. how many boy/girlfriends?: 8 or 9.
05. broke up?: I had 8 or 9.
06. have any crushes?: Yes yes.
07. care to mention names?: Everybody! :o
08. new friends?: Oh man: Fady, Mike and Dave (The roomies); Ricci (Favourite Floor Girl); Katie, Shannon, Marc, Rachel, Meghan, Aubrie, Joomin, April (Through Stef); Joslyn and Helen (Crazy Math Goers); Matt, Jess, Josh, Kyle, Alex, Abby, Sarah, Angela (WOSS Youngins); Krys, Jordan, Michelle, Michelle (WOSS Oldins); Adam, Phil, Evan, Jeremy, Sean, Mike, Chris (Face People);
09. had to say goodbye?: A bunch.
10. missed anyone?: Yup.
11. win anything?: China?
12. best place you went to?: The park on Church I think is my favourite.
13. worst place you went to?: I'm not sure.
14. happiest moment?: Oh man.
15. how was your birthday?: I survived.
16. best present?: China.

So it's 2005. Time to jump on the bandwagon and make some sort of entry about it. 2004 was definatly an interesting year. Yay class of 2K4. I guess 2004 was ok. University on the whole was fun. I hate being in University, but I'm sucking it up. Failing classes sucks. Oh well. Nihongo wa sugoi desu, ne! Some of those things were hard to do. I had to include more than one. Like for worst movie, I had to do Butterfly Effect and Napolean Dynomite, because those were both horrible movies and the creaters should be given one million punches to the face. I fought with Matt when "Lean Back" got number 2 song of the year on Z103. It's a good song, in a pile of horrible horrible music. So suck it up. It wasn't anything amazing, but in comparison it was like a China Face.

There was a string of really good parties, which made my over all New Years Experience pale in comparisson. Eugene no paati wa super fun happy times desu. Eve of Eve ruled. Boss itsumo sobe ni ite ne! And with the Moskau. Heather's B-Day Bash was fun. Risk and Shrek 2 and Anchorman and SuperZero. OMAI! Kaitie's party was shaping up real good, when I had to leave and go home. Oh! OH! Sushi o tabemashita!! It was so good. And I drank lots of beer, and text messaged like 1 million people. Not really. Mike called too. Twice. Once to talk, and once to be an ass. It was good times. Then we played Risk until 4 AM. Super risk battle.

I'm listening to Rasputin. Forever this song shall remind me of Torie, Veronica and Alyssa. Oh! Veronica at Torie's party ruled. I missed her so much. It was so much fun to see her. This song should be on much much louder so I can dance to it. I also miss Morgan. There's a girl I'm probably never ever going to see again. Sigh. I'm not sure what eslse to say.

Games
DAoC - Got fed up, and now I miss it a lot. Current Status - Floating.
FFXI - Played and quit a few times. Current Status - Quit.
WoW - It's fun. Current Status - Playing.
A Wonderful Live - Horrible game. It made me so sad, since HM64 was so so good.
Windwaker - Also sucked. That made me sad.

Grade 12
Data - I almost dropped out when my hard drive crashed over the break, and I lost all my culminating stuff. He gave me an extra day to catch up on it. I ended up with a 60 or something. Dropped like 8 or 9 percent in the course and wound up with an 85.
Calculus - Evang loved me. Despite having bronchitis and being brutalized on the exam (I dropped from 92 to 84), I think he curved my mark up a lot. Sigh.
Discrete - Was extremely awkward due to Mascarins dislike for me as a student. Luckily she "stuck up" for me when they wanted to suspend me for hating her. I think she understood it wasnt my fault that the vice principals are idiots and don't understand how strong you have to dislike someone before it's actually hate.
Grad - Boring. I got an award.
Prom - Sucked. Major. Balls.

People
Heather - For some reason I was really annoyed about Heather hiding her blog (don't ask me why, I'm crazy). Now if she would only switch to using her LJ on a friends only setting it would make life much, much easier. I love my cat.
Barone - I think we got into about three fights over the course of 2004. Three big fights. That's fun.

Life
G2 - I owned the G1 exit test and got my G2. Now it's time to get my G.
Malanka - It ruled. Steve and I maintain strong friendship with jokes about martinis. Can't wait for the next one. (14 more days!)
XTHML - I managed to "master" the use of XHTML, became one of Eugene's biggest campaigners for structured, proper HTML usage, and fell in love with CSS.
Booster Juice - I quit. Take that Colin. You and your horrible managing techniques. Sexist face. I later found out that working at Booster Juice was cliche. Apparently out west it's where all the hot gay people hung out. All I got was old people who wanted to lose weight, and annoying 20 year old girls. Say Multi one more time and I'll smash your face in with this blender. I did come out if it really close to Heather after her break up. We never did have sex in the movie theatre though.
Theme Parties - Are lots and lots of fun. Asian Rave Night + 80s <3.
Degrassi - Being on Television isnt fun. My back was having spasms by the end of the night.
Fun Stuff
Time Warp
Moskau
Rasputin
Uni People
Passing Courses