January 2006 Archives

Jess was back in Oakville this weekend which only meant one thing: we were going on an adventure! Jess and I have a history of going on adventures and causing a lot of damage. Aside from the Backstreet Boys Concert, the last major adventure we went on was almost a year ago when we attacked my grandmother's house. So when I realized that we got to go on an adventure today I got so excited I actually spilt my drink.

I'm not actually sure where I got the idea from, but before I knew it we were on our way to Newmarket to go find Belinda because she's so hot right now. It should be stated for the record that neither of us knew exactly how to get to Newmarket. All we knew was that it was north of Toronto on Yonge St. and west of the 404. It's also something stupid like an hour and a half away. Not that it mattered, we were going to get to take stupid pictures and ask people if they had seen our good friend Belinda.

City Noise: Motorist vs Courier has an interesting list of photos taken during a fight between a motorist and a bicycle courier. Story goes that Angry Motorist throws food out of car. Courier Bitch, being a self righteous hag decides to prove to herself and anyone watching that she is better than you by throwing the food back in the car. Now this gives Angry Motorist a chance to prove his worth by dumping his coffee on Courier Bitch. No word on whether the coffee was cold, lukewarm, or Tim Horton's hot, but if he had good aim he should have been able to hit Courier Bitch somewhere that stained. Courier Bitch responds by keying his car, and then all hell breaks loose.

Now I'd like to take this moment to pause and point out that I support neither side in this altercation and that the names were given solely to amuse myself while retelling this story. A story that I wasn't there to see - one that I obviously didn't witness - whose details have surely been biased and skewed.

Don't get me wrong littering sucks, but Angry Motorist threw food. So why is throwing biodegradable food out onto the road wrong, but throwing biodegradable food to birds something that we like watching old people do in parks? Why was it ok for Courier Bitch to exercise her self appointed title of Moral Compass by throwing the biodegradable food back at Angry Motorist? Keep in mind that in most of the states, if you switch the word car with the word home, then Angry Motorist would have had every right to shoot her.

Of course, any moral superiority that I just earned Angry Motorist is thrown to the wind when you see the pictures. Boy does he look angry. But when it comes down to it, they're both wrong. So why is it that the people on the City Noise forum are standing up for Courier Bitch just because she's a girl? Because that's the real reason I brought this up: to let you all know that I'm annoyed by that. Or am I just crazy?

Update: According to Boing Boing (which is like God), The Courier claims that she did not actually key his car, and that she was talked out of pressing charges by the police because she would be charged too (duh).

At least it wasn't a pretzel.

Start: January. Mono was a real bitch. I disappeared for four months - didn't finish the term. Then I went on a cruise with the family to make it all better.

It's a well known fact that I take a lot of pictures that either suck and get ignored or are half decent to decent and end up being forgotten about. After spending god knows how much time at scottage_chese's livejournal reminding myself why I want to get a job to buy a new camera I for some reason remembered that there were still pictures left to be removed from my camera.

They're nothing special but let me realize that there's a story that could be told about a person in my life. So I'd like you all to meet Joanne. She's the pretty blonde lady pointing in the picture (with sweet, sweet red eye). She could also be considered the Milf counterpart to my dad the Dilf. (Disclaimer: I don't actually think my Dad is a Dilf, but thanks to Becky it's stuck).

The New Dilf: I dare you to find him attractive after this picture. Really, just try. Then again I hear the constipated look is in this season.

Joanne is like the aunt that I never had because mine live on the other side of the country. Or the older sister I never had that could pass as a sister if she dresses up because she just looks that good. She also has good fashion sense. We made fun of people in Wolfville, Nova Scotia. It was a bonding experience.

For her birthday we went out to Prince Japanese Steakhouse because our family's have an addiction to expensive sushi. Well, my dad, my sister, Joanne and Husband and I have an addiction to expensive sushi. The boys and my mother wuss out and get chicken and/or beef dinners.

After I went and bought myself a pair of Rock and Republic jeans I showcased them at a party my parents were having. I can't exactly recall when the party was, but I think I won a place in the hearts of a lot of the younger ladies at the party - probably because the younger ladies have money and expensive taste too. It makes me happy to know that people will still copy me.

You can't see it in the pictures because it's hard to tactfully take a picture of someone's ass, but Joanne got a really nice pair of Rock and Republic's with a butterfly on them as part of her gift for her birthday. She looked good. I was almost jealous. So instead I took pictures of the things around me. Like this plate. I swear to god you would have thought I was high, I spent a good twenty minutes just staring at it.

Then it was on to the Geisha on the wall, and the glasses on the shelf. Then I was caught in the black hole that was the glare on my brother's head. Oh ya, I may not have mentioned it but he shaved his head and donated his care in a fundraiser for cancer. You may not have seen him before hand, but his hair was well past his shoulders. I think.

So the next time I mention Joanne in casual conversation, you'll know that she's the one with great fashion sense. She's also the one that makes fun of poorly dressed people with me, and gives me something to look forward to as I grow up: even more money to spend on clothes.

Michael Moore is currently in production on his next movie. As an avid lover of all things Canadian, he has issued the following statement regarding Canada's upcoming election on Monday:

Oh, Canada -- you're not really going to elect a Conservative majority on Monday, are you? That's a joke, right? I know you have a great sense of humor, and certainly a well-developed sense of irony, but this is no longer funny. Maybe it's a new form of Canadian irony -- reverse irony! OK, now I get it. First, you have the courage to stand against the war in Iraq -- and then you elect a prime minister who's for it. You declare gay people have equal rights -- and then you elect a man who says they don't. You give your native peoples their own autonomy and their own territory -- and then you vote for a man who wants to cut aid to these poorest of your citizens. Wow, that is intense! Only Canadians could pull off a hat trick of humor like that. My hat's off to you.

Far be it from me, as an American, to suggest what you should do. You already have too many Americans telling you what to do. Well, actually, you've got just one American who keeps telling you to roll over and fetch and sit. I hope you don't feel this appeal of mine is too intrusive but I just couldn't sit by, as your friend, and say nothing. Yes, I agree, the Liberals have some 'splainin' to do. And yes, one party in power for more than a decade gets a little... long. But you have a parliamentary system (I'll bet you didn't know that -- see, that's why you need Americans telling you things!). There are ways at the polls to have your voices heard other than throwing the baby out with the bath water.

These are no ordinary times, and as you go to the polls on Monday, you do so while a man running the nation to the south of you is hoping you can lend him a hand by picking Stephen Harper because he's a man who shares his world view. Do you want to help George Bush by turning Canada into his latest conquest? Is that how you want millions of us down here to see you from now on? The next notch in the cowboy belt? C'mon, where's your Canadian pride? I mean, if you're going to reduce Canada to a cheap download of Bush & Co., then at least don't surrender so easily. Can't you wait until he threatens to bomb Regina? Make him work for it, for Pete's sake.

But seriously, I know you're not going to elect a guy who should really be running for governor of Utah. Whew! I knew it! You almost had me there. Very funny. Don't do that again. God, I love you, you crazy cold wonderful neighbors to my north. Don't ever change.

Michael Moore

(Mr. Moore is not available for interviews because he now needs to address the situation in Azerbaijan. But he could be talked into it for a couple of tickets to a Leaf's game.)

Michael Moore Statement on Canadian Election

For those with Livejournal accounts, and those who don't have Liveournal accounts but love me, go to my Livejournal and vote for which party name you like better. If you don't have an account, just leave a comment.

I'd like to introduce you all to my friend Alex. She's probably the reason most people actually bothered to go to class and finish school. She's also probably the reason that a lot of people are friends with each other. It's ok though because people like to be cool by association and there aren't many cooler people than Alex. See, tongues are cool – and sexy.

See, we're so sexy. You can also marvel at how the shot was taken because the girl in the white was wearing a black thong and you could totally see it through her shorts.

Alex and I also like to do things like have erotic Harry Potter dreams. It's only to be expected though; we are wizards after all. When we grow up we're going to found our own school for witchcraft, wizardry, and spasming a la Snape in the Chamber of Secrets video during the duel scene.

Sometimes when Alex decides to be mortal, and feels sad I like to think she comes here to look at pictures like these and cheer up. But that doesn't happen because Alex is god-like and never feels sad. Just in case though, here's one more funny one.

Friday night (or rather early Saturday morning) I was surprised by the arrival of my cousin at my front door. Normally late night appearances at my door wouldn't surprise me very much, but in this case you have to realize that my cousin just happens to live hundreds of kilometers away in Edmonton. Yes, he lives in Edmonton and he was at my door.

What I managed to forget about is the fact that Saturday night was when most Ukrainian groups were holding their Malankas. Meaning cities everywhere would be full of really drunk, really loud Ukrainians in suits.

Most of early Saturday morning was spent driving around downtown Toronto wasting gas and catching up. It'd been a few months since I'd seen him and a few years since I'd bothered to actually have a talk with him. This time there was a lot to talk about: boys, girls, friends, school, work, and of course the election. Luckily for me, my mother's side of the family is normal and votes Liberal. In fact my uncle is running to be the Liberal MP in Edmonton-Leduc. So when you look at my immediate family and wonder why I don't fit in, you can now be satisfied to know that it's because I got the good Jacuta genes.

Yes, the Jacuta genes are good for a lot of things. Intelligence, humor, not to mention looks. See for yourself:

My cousin is hot - almost as hot as I am. Nothing but good things are in store for him. That's him in his suit, wearing my father's sunglasses and driving the dilfmobile (BMW 545). Yes, I let him drive the dilfmobile. He didn't drive much over the speed limit on the highway, much to the chagrin of the other drivers on the 403, but he did drive it well. We Jacuta offspring look good in expensive things.

And by the way, he's single ladies.

Once upon a time I was an active club hopper. Ok that's not really true – I could only handle clubbing once or twice a month because even on the best days, when you leave with one or two other people, you still end up feeling sick with yourself afterwards. Then the inevitable post-club experience depression sets in and you're a cranky bitch for two or three days. It only makes matters worse when you don't leave with someone though.

While talking to a friend of mine who wants my almost-sex, a boy came up in conversation that I had met at one of the clubs. It's a well known fact that while it's occasionally hard to have a relationship with someone you've met on the internet, it's almost damn near impossible to have a relationship with someone you've met at a club. Let me rephrase that: a decent relationship with potential to last into the future.

I however happen to be a glutton for suffering, so when a boy in a club came along that didn't look too sketched out on letters of the alphabet I pounced. Well not literally, although that would have made for quite a scene. The friend I was with when I decided to do something totally called me on it. Boy did I learn my lesson. It was an interesting transition to watch though.

I caught a boy right at the beginning of club life. So it was cute outfit, cute hair, and cute face. Try some drugs, and have a good time. That was the philosophy. It worked well enough for me to want to stick around - at least for two weeks.

By the end of the two weeks I was more than frustrated with everything involving the relationship and the boy, and just life in general. So I pulled out – nothing like a New Kid to really mess things up.

I still see him around sometimes. I watched a really sharp downward spiral into the scene. It always puts things in perspective when you see someone turn to drugs, and then clothes, and then makeup to make them seem like they're in control of their life. I never recognize him when I see him anymore, although I do hear from mutual acquaintances that he's hitting the drugs hard and not talking to them. This is normally while I'm out trying to have a good time, and he's off doing god knows what with god knows who because he doesn't want to be with the people he made come usually due to the fact that they worry about him.

So, when I started this story I thought that I would some how make it as amusing to read as it is for me to retell. However now I think it might just be really depressing. So, I'll leave you with something to make you laugh. A picture of us falling to our doom. Or at least a lot of pain on a blue mat.

Some people ask my why I'm voting Liberal and not Conservative. You'd think on the surface that would be easy enough to answer. Just like it's easy enough to answer why I'm not voting NDP with a simple "I don't trust them with my money." Unfortunately some people are stupid. By stupid, I mean more than just the regular level of people stupid and even more than the teenage level of stupid. Some people are so stupid I'm not sure how I function with them around me.

It's not that I agree with everything the Liberal party does. I feel they have the best ideals for Canada's future. I'd like to let everyone know that I completely disagree with the gun registry. It's one of the Liberal party's major downfalls. It's too bad that they can't go back on it now without looking like idiots. It just drives me mad when people who vote Conservative blindly recite the shit they're told thinking that they're smart. I don't get along with people who spew shit without backing it up thinking that it'll shut me up. My friendships or lack there of with certain people is more than enough to prove that.

So when people start saying that the Conservatives are going to scrap the gun registry, that little vein on my forehead starts to get really big and my eye starts to twitch. It's probably because I spend a lot of my free time researching things from credible sources. Why can't other people do the same.

But what about those 1,000 new RCMP officers the Conservatives say they will hire with the money saved from the gun registry? With a starting salary of $40,523, employing 1,000 new RCMP officers will cost $40.5 million a year once they are out in the field, with costs rising to $65.6 million as the officers reach a higher pay scale within three years. That's considerably more than the current cost of registering guns. The Conservative plan may well be a better strategy for reducing gun crimes, but scrapping "the $2 billion gun registry" will not produce the windfall of cash the Conservatives seem to be counting on.1

So when it comes to guns, we look just about screwed. I mean, no one running for a seat in parliament actually knows shit about gun violence or how to stop it. Well maybe the NDP, but they won't get elected where it matters anyways. It boggles my mind at how clueless some of these politicians are. Yes, members of the brainwashed Conservative voters will make snide remarks about how gangsters won't register their guns anyways. Then what makes them think that taking away the right to vote from prisoners will make it any better. Why would gangsters even bother to vote? But more than that, what makes them think that the Conservatives will actually be able to take that right away from prisoners?

I mean it's not like we've decided that as Canadians voting is a fundamental right that ever citizen has. Or wait. No – it is something we decided. That's why it's in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

Passing a constitutional amendment to remove voting rights for prisoners will not be easy. It will require passing resolutions in the House and Senate, and in seven provincial legislatures representing 50 per cent of the population. This has never happened before. A Parliament with a Conservative majority or strong minority would likely be able to pass a resolution in the House. The Liberal-dominated Senate might be a tougher sell, and it is unlikely that provincial governments would support a constitutional amendment without asking for something in return from the federal government. Even lawmakers who support the idea of disenfranchising prisoners might be reluctant to achieve that goal through a measure as draconian as amending the Charter. 2

This sets a deeper fear in me personally. I couldn't care less prisoners and whether or not they have the right to vote. It's not a big issue for me, and it's not like they turn out to vote anyways ("on average, there are only about forty prisoner votes per riding"). So then why does this bother me? It's the fact that the Conservatives are willing to play with something that we call the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Not to add rights or freedoms either, but to remove them. People should start thinking about that.

My biggest beef with tax credits. I'm not even going to spend a lot of my time explain this, when it's done so much better already. "The harsh truth about tax credits is that they don't live up to the headlines ... promise $2,000 deductions for seniors and $500 breaks for hockey parents. That's because all tax credits are calculated by multiplying the dollar amount allowed-say $500 for sports fees-by the lowest tax rate, currently 16 per cent, for a maximum tax savings of $80 a year." This one should be fun.

To help middle-income seniors, the Conservatives promise to increase-from $1,000 to $2,000-the amount of private pension income from a registered plan or RRSP that can be earned free of tax. This is designed to help those whose Old Age Security benefits are clawed back when incomes reach $60,000.

This doesn't mean, however, that seniors receive a $2,000 reduction. This, too, is a tax credit, so the $2,000 exemption has to be multiplied by 16 per cent for a maximum tax savings of $160 a year.

Harper's $500 tax credit for parents with kids in organized sports has to appeal to anyone who spends their pre-breakfast mornings at a freezing cold rink. As noted, however, $500 in sports fees only yields a tax savings of $80 a year, enough perhaps for a pair of used skates.3

The same thing should be noted for students. A $500 text-book credit doesn't mean you get $500, as some idiots have interpreted. It means that you're given credit against taxes for $500. If my business classes taught me anything it's that tax-deductible shit really isn't as awesome as it seems. Tax credits seem to be working out just the same way. Nothing says fun like getting $80 back for all my text book spending. My text book spending in first year? Over $1000. I'm so going to be rolling the money now.

1. Reality Check - The registry under the gun
2. Reality Check - Voting no to prisoners
3. Reality Check - When it comes to tax credits, read the fine print

But first, I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you all that Adam is a big tool and a douche.

In my early morning blog hopping I came across something that made me laugh and then die a little on the inside. I want you to look at this map and tell me what you see.

Don't see it? Look at Ontario, where Toronto should be on the map and then tell me what you see. Yes that's right: Vaughan is there but Toronto isn't. For those of you who haven't really had the displeasure of suffering through Vaughan I'll stop now to explain it to you. Vaughan is the city that thinks they're above Toronto – literally. Well not literally like the second floor is above the first floor, but you know what I mean. Vaughan, Master of Suburbia, thinks they're better than Toronto.

So it doesn't surprise me that something like this happened. What confuses me is why it happened. Frappr is supposed to be powered by Google maps. Well I've gone through the Google Map zoom about 100 times centered on different areas (because different centers mean different cities show up in different orders). This is how it worked out.

First Toronto shows up on the default zoom, along with London and Ottawa. Zoom in once, and Hamilton shows up. Zoom in twice and Mississauga replaces Hamilton and it's probably because they're names are too long to fit so close to each other. Zooming a third time takes out Mississauga, brings back Hamilton, and adds Kitchener (but not Waterloo), Cambridge, Oakville, Brampton, Pickering and Oshawa. Still no Vaughan and this is highway level. Vaughan doesn't show up until you zoom in a fourth time, along with Markham, Burlington and the important city of Barrie. So how much then did Vaughan pay Frappr to replace Toronto, and where can I file a complain about it?

Not that Vaughan is really Master of Suburbia either. I give them the title because Mississauga is doing too well as Toronto Number 2 to be consider a suburb anymore, and Oakville is too prissy to be compared to Vaughan.

Vaughan is the kind of city that does actually think money can buy everything, and they might be right. Wonderland doesn't count because it's been there long before Vaughan was Vaughan. Vaughan Mill knocked Square One out and claimed "Ontario's Biggest Mall." Too bad biggest mall was referring to floor space and not the tacky stores they shoved in there. Even money can't make up for the fact that I'd be driving to Vaughan for h2o+ and Holt Renfrew: Last Call – eew.

Vaughan is set to pay enormous sums of money to get a massive soccer stadium built, and then even more enormous sums of money to have the TTC Yonge-University-Spadina line extended up to their downtown at Jane and Highway 7. Yes, the downtown of Vaughan is centered at Jane and Highway 7. So while they're paying for all these things it leaves me wondering: While they're spending money left right and center, pushing for things like the subway extension to boost the growth of their downtown are they ignoring the fact that the extension will make it likely for Ontario to say "hey, you're just part of Toronto now" or are they just ignorant to that fact.

It's true. After four months of swim training instead of weight lifting, and then a month of withering away in my bed doing nothing but sleeping and watching whole series on DVD I've returned to the gym. Not so triumphantly either, I'd like to add.

My brother says that you're supposed to do two weeks of circuit training before focusing on anything specific. It worked out fine too for the most part, until my dad decided he wanted to beat his recorded of infinity plus one on the triceps press thing. My triceps were always the second sweetest thing on my body - well third, but let's not get into that here; my legs count as too many parts to be fairly included and they've been slacking. So being the idiot that I am, I didn't mind for the first little bit. I always reduced the weight to something slightly less insane when I went on, but I kept going. Well I'm going to tell you right now: I mind it now.

Last night my triceps put me through a low dull pain right near my elbows. After today's "my father is insane-a-thon triceps fun" event that dull pain has turned into throbbing, kicking and screaming pain. I'd love to comment about how it's the closest thing I'll ever experience to the pain of child birth, but then the women would hit me and I'd wind up with kidney stones.

This is the kind of throbbing, kicking and screaming pain that has cost me hours of sleep. When I realized that I was ready to pass out just after midnight I did what would have passed as a dance of joy considering my body's condition at the time. It was the first time in over a month that I felt tired at a decent hour and I was ready for bed. Only my triceps had other plans. They felt the need to punish me for being an idiot.

I've been waking up at intervals of about an hour all night. After 5:00am rolled around I just gave up. I had better things to do, like waste my time on my computer and respond to emails – and fix the mistakes I made in the comment templates. It suddenly dawned on me that there might just actually be something wrong and that people aren't crazy when they're telling me that it says there's an error with the comment submission. By suddenly dawned on me I mean I received and email from someone about it. Don't ask me why this one spurred me into action. It was something to do to keep my mind of the throbbing, kicking and screaming pain living in my triceps. And now that I've thought about it again it's back. I hope you're happy now.

I've decided that I'm going to remove Brat Boy's School from my blogroll because reading anything that appears up there makes me want to gouge someone else's eyes out with a rusty spoon. Also, telling you this is a lot easier than creating something meaningful to talk about. Enjoy.

Today after picking Adam up from work we found ourselves driving down Upper Middle trying to figure out what we were going to do. At some point Adam suggested a movie and I decided that's what we were going to do – probably without telling him. Steve was at home finishing up some work meaning I had a night without him, leaving me to spend Adam's money for my entertainment. We ended up driving to two movie theatres before we found a movie we were willing to watch. Cheaper by the Dozen 2 was playing later in the night leaving us with over an hour to entertain ourselves at Chapters.

After the movie Adam and I had deep discussions about the cast: who was hot, who was going to be hot and who was going to be gay. I'd give you names but it might count as libel. I made the mistake of mentioning that at one point in time I wanted a lot of kids, but that now I just see them as expensive things that suck away your life. I should know - I'm a perfect example of one. That got us into a heated argument about the possibility of future children. So I'm going to lay it on the line.

If I get manly and she's single, then Jess and I are totally going to get with the making babies.

I don't understand what the big issue with this is. Jess and I have totally been sexually sexual since before the elevator and definitely since after the elevator. Our relationship has moved to the point of comfort where we can say things like "our kids would be gorgeous" and eat Smarties off of each others tongues.

So you guys are just going to have to deal with it. Or we're not going to invite you to the birthday parties.

Am I the only person that has trouble reading anything on this site? I don't mean to be rude, but I just can't do it. Please someone tell me I'm not the same way.

Today I took some of the time I was awake to get myself some gear for my upcoming snowboarding lessons with Abby. I got myself a snowboard gear advisor and went down to Sherway to spend some money. My snowboard gear advisor, also known as Joanne "the one that made fun of poorly dressed Acadia students with me" actually snowboards which outranks me in the world of snow sports because apparently having seen a snowboard in use doesn't actually count as using it.

I got to Sherway a few minutes earlier, giving me enough time to buy my much needed body wash from h2o+. On top of the tubes of different body washes, I also walked out of the store with a home mircodermabrasion kit and Lip Oasis, a lip moisturizer. Or at least I thought I did. Upon looking into the bag earlier tonight I found that the $35 lip shit wasn't even in the bag. Not one to jump to conclusion I'm going to have to check my car tomorrow before I go in and give someone hell. Let them deal with my chapped lips and see how they like it.

Walking from h2o+ to meet Joanne at sporting life I passed by the new Abercrombie & Fitch store. It's not open yet, but the wall outside of it is finally down. Now I haven't been in an Abercrombie in years. Actually, to be totally honest I stopped thinking about buying clothes from there when people I didn't like started wearing it. Can't be seen in the same clothing as them, just wouldn't happen. So I'd forgotten just how much American Eagle copied the front style of the Abercrombie stores. I mean, I knew they copied all of the clothing style (although to be totally honest, I'm more fond of the AE Graphic Tees than the A&F ones) but I'd totally forgotten that they copied the store front too. It caught me so off guard that Joanne had to shake me before I realized she was talking to me.

Of course walking down to Sporting Life brought us by Hollister, and a pile of Hollister employees going through training on the floor outside the store. The wall outside the store was down too and Joanne and I did our 'oohs' and 'aahs' admiring the tacky beach store look. It's my first time ever seeing a Hollister, which actually surprised me considering all of the obscure traveling and shopping that I've done. So seeing the full get-up they had there was a shock to the system. Not that I mind it, I thought it was fun.

The staff doing their training on the floor were of more interest to me. I attempted to describe the clothing sold there to Joanne as we walked back into reality and my need to buy snow pants. I went with "California surf" which I feel was pretty accurate, if only based on Hollister's wikipedia entry. The staff were relatively attractive though, which is more than I can say for some of the A&F boys walking around as I left the mall. If you thought you knew dumb straight boy, I challenge you to go see them when the store opens. They take dumb straight boy to a whole new level. This makes me wonder how they're going to handle all the snobby homos that shop at Sherway. I'll be sure to let you know after I shop there and raise some sort of hell on my own.

So things are finally settling down when it comes to getting my post-secondary life back together. Or at least grabbing the horns of that bull that is post-secondary life, and attempting to either guide it somewhere or just not get flayed.

I made my way up to Waterloo today to grab a copy of the appeal I submitted last June about my marks. You know, the one that had results and an offer to no-weight the term emailed to me that I either ignored, or responded back with something along the lines of "Yes, I do I want to bigger it now for only 99 cents a pill!" As a result of that stupidity I'm left filling out another appeal. Yes, I am that stupid.

I spent my time there phoning people who I knew were on campus this term. Laurence got messages from me. Aiden told me to call her back in 20 minutes, and she didn't pick up when I did. I phoned Stef twice. First when I got there then later when I saw someone that might have been her come out of MC. My goal was to see her pick up her phone, then hang up and run over and tackle her or something. No go on the answering the phone. So that left me to stalk through the lack of bushes between the SLC and MC to see if it was actually Stef, or just some clever look-alike.

For those of you who have never been to Waterloo, there are no bushes between the SLC and MC. So that left me looking like an idiot as I attempted to fast walk towards the look-alike to check her identity. It also left me crisscrossing the grass and patio trying to get a good look at her face. By the time I had gotten close enough to get a good look at the girls face, I was right next to her staring. Thank god it really was Stef. Otherwise I might have gotten smacked.

Stef and I did a small bit of catching up in the SLC. We didn't really have much else to do, because there really isn't much else to do in Waterloo. That made up a large part of our conversations. That and the fact that most people there were either ugly, or losers, or both. It makes it hard for people to fit in. Then I got ready to drive home; I had a birthday dinner to make an appearance at.

The appeal will be worked out during the day tomorrow, leaving me with a drive back to Waterloo on Thursday to submit my papers and then get the hell out of there a.s.a.p. Well, that's a lie. The first thing I'm going to do when I get there is probably phone Laurence or Aiden. Then maybe I'll submit the papers that are the key to my freedom.

I'm really sick and tired of all of this school nonsense. No wonder people who take a year off hardly ever end up going back. There are some days (most days) where I just can't be bothered to do anything about it. That's why I'm going to need to do some serious thinking about living in residence. If I live in residence I might not go to any class, while staying at home would allow me to commute making me feel that I'm wasting my time not going to class. On the other hand, I might end up just shopping. So if any of you feel that you're better judges of my will power than I am, feel free to let me know what you think would bee a better choice for me. I sure don't want to think about it anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Oakville Place for everything it's become. Especially if you compare to what it used to be a few years ago. But calling it an upscale mall is just a lie. ( Parking lot shooting at Oakville mall 'not random').

Oakville Place is on par with every other major mall out there. Erin Mills, Mapleview and Limeridge, all have the same type of selection of stores (ignoring the fact that Mapleview also has a whole bunch of shitty stores) as Oakville Place and there's now way that any of those malls are upscale. Square One is getting close to an upscale mall. It's more upscale than Oakville Place is. Leave it to the Hamilton Spectator to call Oakville Place upscale.

If you want to know what a real upscale mall is, you only need to look at Sherway Gardens. That's as upscale as you're going to get in the GTA. It's more upscale than Eaton Centre, which is more of a tourist attraction. It's just as upscale as Yorkdale, and makes up for the fact that the Holt Renfrew at Sherway sucks by not having an Old Navy.

Abercrombie and Hollister are both ready to open up in the coming months (already American Eagles in the area are losing staff to Abercombie). Despite what people think about H&M, Gap is more upscale than H&M could ever be. Those aren't the only upscale stores that Sherway has that Oakville Place could only dream of having right now; Banana Republic, Aritzia, Sporting Life and more shoe stores than I can count float around Sherway, not to mention h2o+ and Pottery Barn. What does Oakville Place offer? Kitchen Sense. Not even Fruits & Passions. Moderately priced soaps are apparently not our calling.

Last night Adam and I ventured downtown to see the Blue Man Group at the Panasonic Theatre on Yonge. Apparently after Adam talked about how he had wished he'd gone into theatre (we all know why), his sister got them tickets. Then she ditched him to go to Vancouver with her boyfriend, so I got to go see them instead.

For those of you who aren't sure if you know the Blue Man Group, they're the blue guys who bang on things to make sounds. You may have seen them on the old Dell commercials, on the Simpson's or giving out an award with Jessica Alba on one of the many award shows that just recently happened (I can't remember exactly which one it was).

It was awesome. If you consider that I went in hoping that everyone would just die, and wanting to do nothing other than go to bed and compare it to the fact that I came out loving life and wanting to see more people drown in a sea of tissue paper then you can see what I say the show was a success. The clever blend of live performing, pre-taped film and audience volunteers had me falling off my chair laughing – Literally. Twice, not counting the time I got accosted by a large pile of tissue paper.

I'd recommend it to anyone and everyone, and I'll tell you now that you should try and go with a group of people and get good and crunk before you get there. Oh, and try not to get a seat under the balcony or you might find yourself drowning in tissue paper too.

Brokeback Mountain came and went through my brain twice before I felt I could voice my thoughts about the movie. I even had to look around to other reviews to try and help develop my thoughts on a movie that's bound to win a ridiculous amount of awards. The Towleroad Guide To Brokeback Mountain helped a lot there.

I've never read the original short story by Annie Proulx, and I can't say if I ever will read it. The fact that I hadn't read the story left me not knowing what to expect from the movie. Based on the pictures that I'd seen from the movie (two pictures total, including the poster) and what I'd read and heard about it the movie was about two gay cowboys who fell in love. Two incredibly hot, sex cowboys played by Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal. Then at some point Heath Ledger marries some redhead chick, which I learned after seeing my one screen capture from the movie: their wedding.

The opening of the movie was a powerful way to introduce the characters and the landscape. The fact that neither spoke until well after they had been assigned to work together was something that felt so familiar to me. The way that Jack (Gyllenhaal) cruised Ennis (Ledger) at the very beginning of the movie is what I consider to be the single most clever thing that Ang Lee could have done while directing the movie. The subtle infusion of typical gay demeanour into macho straight stereotypes is brilliant and something that Lee should be given credit for. It's what won me over.

Both Ledger and Gyllenhaal did amazing jobs at displaying emotions that they may not ever feel in their lives. Ennis was the typical gruff, quiet homo too afraid to say anything for fear of what people might come to discover about him. Gyllenhaal played the quirky, eccentric rodeo cowboy that passed off his actions as rodeo's rambunctious tendencies. It worked fine for the first two decades of their lives. Then they wind up working together up in the vast nothingness that is Wyoming herding sheep. One cold night and a little too much whiskey and they find themselves opening doors to a world of lust that they've kept locked away inside them. That point changed their relationship forever.

Brokeback touches on a number of points in the life of someone dealing with their sexuality in a world that is not only not accepting, but hateful towards their orientation. It's painfully slow moving and accents the internal suffering that goes on in the lives of Ennis and Jack after they leave Brokeback and attempt to fit back into their world where men do women and make babies. Dealing with that and the fact that they just can't quit each other (expect a lot of homos to be heard quoting that line in the next few months). It's powerful and moving, and I would recommend it to anyone who has more than two brain cells.

You'll love towleroad now. Care of The Great American Smoke Out.

I've been trying to figure out why my life has been so boring as of late, and then it hit me. I don't do anything. I sleep all day, and then spend the night on my computer or watching DVDs. Only watching DVDs is temporarily out of the picture. I finished The O.C. and I don't feel like watching Family Guy right now. I do feel like shopping though. Nothing is as entertaining as spending money.

This takes us to my latest quagmire: I don't have much money left. While I'm sitting on wads of cash that I put away for school, I'm afraid I don't have much spending money left. While we ignore the fact that I'm currently not in school, I'm the kind of person who would spend the money for school and never bother to replenish it.

So I need a job. Only I'm a little picky about where I'd want to work. I can do retail no problem because it's not hard to fold and sell shit. The problem is if I’m going to work retail, I'd want to work somewhere that I'd actually wear the shit I'm selling. That leaves on store in Oakville Place, and they're not hiring right now. I have one back up that I haven't checked into yet, but I'm starting to think that having taste in clothing is going to come back and bite me in the ass.

It shouldn't be surprising for me that this year went by so quickly, but it did and I am. 2005 was a whirlwind of a year, and I'm not sure what to expect from 2006. So let's go over some of the highlights from 2005.

First of all, 2005 was mono-tastic. I have never been so sick in my life for such a prolonged period of time. I was still feeling the effects of the mono in the summer, and even now there will be a day or two where I'm so tired I don't want to do anything but sleep. Suffice to say mono ruined my first year at Waterloo, and most of my summer. I'm so incredibly lucky that I was able to spend a week doing nothing but drinking in April on my cruise. That and my mom let me pamper myself in the spa because she knew I was so sick.

I took my summer bettering goals and completed them. I am officially a lifeguard, certified by the National Lifesaving Society. If you didn't think that I had the muscle mass in me to make it through then I'd just like to remind you that I did beat the crap out of Rob at Chrismukkah when he tried to tackle me. I also got the rollerblades, but the fact that they left me so blistered caused them to fall from glory. I'm sure that next summer I'll start up again with some thicker socks to protect my feet.

A year and two months after I started at Waterloo, and a year and two weeks after I decided I didn't like it there I began what would inevitably be the official decision to drop out and transfer elsewhere (a.k.a. University of Toronto).

Waterloo was a bust, but my coop placement wasn't. My four months at my placement were probably the best four months of the year for me. I felt so at home working, even though I wasn't doing anything related to what I learned at school. The fact that I was out of bed and putting to use knowledge I had acquired in my days as a computer packrat made me glow.

So it would be safe to say that 2005 was rather sucky, although I wouldn't trade what I've learned, achieved and gained to go back and not do the boy who gave me mono. Well, maybe go back just to not do the boy, but I can deal with the mono. This leaves us with what I have to look forward to in 2006.

If the current process of attempting to apply to universities again has shown me anything, it's that finishing the applications is going to suck a lot. I have a whole list of things that I need to do tomorrow to get this all done and I'm not exactly looking forward to it.

My winter goal is to learn how to snowboard. It's part of my seasonal betterment program that I've put myself on (summer being life guarding). That and I need to get myself a job - or three. Blogging is good and well, but it's going to suck when I start running out of money. I just don't think I'd be able to deal with that. I can promise you one thing though – I'll never start shopping at Stitches, no matter how poor I get. I'd eat my shoe before I shopped there.