Over the past few weeks I've found myself agitated by little things. The problem with these little things is that not one single evernt or person pisses me off enough to give me reason to vent my frustrations. That is of course until one person happens to do something to push me over the top, allowing me to vent all my frustrations on that poor soul. Or even worse, when someone happens to be around when I reach that point and I take it out on them just because they're there. I'm a great person like that.
So I thought long and hard about it until I came up with this. Inspired by a Seinfeld episode I can hardly remember, I present to you the very first Airing of Grievances. At first I was thinking about following a format: one thing about myself, one thing about a person or thing, and one about people in general. That would have gone well for all of five minutes.
I realized I didn't want to be obliged to admit all my faults to the whole world. Better to admit it silently and try to fix it, only mentioning major, amusing or major-ly amusing problems. Second was the fact that all the things that I could think of that bothered me about one person were usually traits of an easily stereotyped group of people. Pointing on person out using traits from a whole group of people is just asking for trouble in the form of that person showing up at your house with one million punches for your face. So instead I'm going to just put whatever I want to out there, and work from there.
On to the grievances!
I thought working out was supposed to improve your self image. Maybe I'm just an exception to this rule as part of the universes twisted sense of humour, but working out hasn't made me feel any more attractive. In fact, it's the exact opposite. Changes are slow to take place even with my brother's workout plan. So instead I find myself in front of the mirror thinking about how everything could be better, and therefore should be better. Only recently this has developed into something even worse. No I'm seeing things wrong with everyone else too. This is going to cause serious problems for me. I'm lucky enough to find the right people attractive, but one day I'm going to open my mouth in front of some stupid straight boy with one too many insecurities and get cut.
Can we talk for a moment about how I'm SO tired of people singing? Yes? Excellent. I know, it's my own fault for loving so many music theatre students. It just hits something deep in my core sitting there listening to these people sing all the time - especially when they started talking down to me. Let's stop and review my life for a second. I started playing the piano when I was 5. Since then, there were only two and a half years in my life where I was not playing a musical instrument. One year in high school when I foolishly picked Cross Country over Concert Band, and my first year and a half of "University" life. So I know my shit. In fact, odds are I have more about music locked up deep in my brain than most music theatre students do. Singing and playing chords is fun, but not that challenging in the grand scheme of things. So when you're singing your six notes, just remember that I know you're singing those notes before you open your mouth to me.
There's a growing trend in the "blogosphere" (I'm still undecided on that term) for younger teenagers to start blogs. Usually 14 or 15 and usually female, I read these blogs and shudder a little on the inside. All paedophilic potential aside, most of these people shouldn't have blogs. Fuck, half the time I shouldn't have a blog. Sure, you may write well and you may get GREAT marks in your high school English classes but that doesn't change the fact that most of your lives are boring as fuck, and that all of your opinions are just crappy rehashes of things you've read. Sure you can call it your own opinion, but until you experience things it's really just the opinion of the person you took it from. Some point after puberty you'll go through some shit and think "Oh shit, I was a tool." Then you can step off your pedestal and try to have an interesting life. Don't believe? Look no further than my old archives. Hello barf.
I actually like my older stuff. Most of it is in archive.org, but I kinda regret not saving it for easier access. My older stuff seems to be more biting. I've tamed down a bit since. Also, I'm much less interesting.
I'm 19, and my livejournal isn't witty or insightful in anyway. It's the typical whiny "woe is me" and "OMGZ CUTE GUY!!!11~" type of blog, but that suits me just fine. I can operate at my usual level of intelligence on my website, my livejournal is for the moody adolescent fangirl aspect of me. I win both ways! ;)
I agree with your last paragraph. I started blogging about 5 years ago now and twice I've ended up losing my archives due to stupidity on my part of mysql issues and looking back now I have no regrets because I was SUCH a boob.
Alright, some could say I'm still a boob, but at least I have my own opinions and experience now. ;)
Eug, I'm not sure I'd say I got more or less interesting. I think I just learned how to make the blog interesting (I hope). I definitely lost my edge though. I learned the hard way that old people are scared by the internet.
Amanda, I'm 19, completely not witty or insightful in any way but pretend that I am. Now you know my big secret.
Jem, I like to think that I have my own opinions now. If I can't remember what my opinion is on something I just figure out what it was when I was younger and take the exact opposite in an attempt to counteract the huge level of tool that I was.
Oh god, you sound like my moody grandmother who cannot decide to stop acting like menopause stopped and accept she is an old fogey. I find your site loading quite slowly and wonder how you feel the need to criticize those you only visited once. Perhaps instead of opening your mouth and defecating from it instead of the proper way, you should actually think and then maybe speak something intelligible.
I find your choice in lackeying up to other webmasters quite disappointing. Oh well, another university experiment gone bad. -sighs-
Sera, I have a reasonable response to most of your anger, and some questions regarding the rest of it. Unfortunately before I can get to those Eugene wants to know if you're hot, because if you're not then he doesn't care.
I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you’re not like most girls who hang out on the internet; fat, ugly, and/or completely bitter and jaded with life. This version of the site loads slowly for what are most likely three reasons: (1) your connection to my host sucks, (2) the banner, while pretty, wasn’t planned properly and only worked at a huge size, or (3) your connection to my host sucks. It’s most likely (1) or (3), because I’ve been having a lot of problems with my host recently. Combined with the fact my site is optimized for pretty, not loading, it causes some problems. Personally though, the only thing that I have ever seen load slowly on a computer is the background, in Internet Explorer. Most of this will hopefully be addressed with the next version, mainly for my friends’ convenience. Not yours or anyone else’s, because I couldn’t care less about people other than my friends. The site is for me, and then them.
I’m also going to assume you’re not a 14 year old girl who’s been offended by what’s been said. Obviously you wouldn’t be offended for yourself, because the first time I’ve ever heard about you and been to your site was after your comment. Not to mention your site is just a big screen with a somewhat pixilated image saying you’ll be back soon. You couldn’t be offended for one of your friends either, because I haven’t said anything about anyone in particular, except that I used to (and still do) suck when it comes to blogging. Maybe you just have low self esteem and trying to pick fights with people on the internet makes you feel better about yourself.
If at any point this stopped making sense, it’s because something shiny came a long. In that case please feel free to contact me and I can try and clear things up.
Thanks again for your comment!