The Mike Haddad Show: This is relevant to my interests.

Hockey isn't something I normally watch. In fact, I watched three games this year, all of them from the final series, all of them at Rob's. Super hockey fan I'm not. So after a period of suck so bad that I picked up on it Rob, Jess and I played pool. The suck was the same level as the hockey game, only this suck was our suck and therefore 1000 times more bearable because we could experience all the scratching first hand. No need to watch people yell and moan as someone took a shot and missed; we got to do it ourselves. The only thing that could have made it more enjoyable would have been alcohol. Alcohol or naked people. I could settle for either.

Upstairs was a different story. They continued to watch the game and seemed content to tell along with the people in the stadium. All they needed was to turn the air conditioning up super high because they had high definition and experienced everything ad if they were there, right down to all the sweat that was flying off players, faces:

To enjoy the humor in this I have to explain who was watching the game. I would never have picked Rob's mom, grandmother, brother OR brother's friend as hockey fanatics. In fact when I showed up at Rob's house earlier I mistook his grandmother for a cleaning lady. She was standing in the kitchen with an apron on scrubbing dishes with some sort of fish scrubbing contraption. What else was I to think? Apparently I was to think "grandmother" something said grandmother plans on reminding me every time she sees me.

Rob's brother's friend on the other hand was originally going to watch the game with us. Only we were too clueless to make the connections between the fact that he was downstairs with us and that Rob's brother wasn't home yet. Instead we were quizzing Jess on what hockey teams were from where:

After that Rob's brother's friend thought we were on crack and left. That's when we found out that he was planning on staying with us and we felt guilty. Oh the horror. THE SHAME!

So after the first period when we had gotten tired of watching the game, we switched to playing pool when a perfect opportunity to be nostalgic arose. Jess was bending over the pool table trying to not fail at the game when something clicked in my head. I dove off the couch that I was sitting on and lunged out and smacked her ass. I mean SMACKED. To the point where you could hear the bones in my wrist cracking and the sound echoing 30 seconds later.

We all thought it was hilarious. It was hilarious. At least until we realized my wrist was starting to swell and bruise, and that Jess was walking with a little limp. 10 minutes later I was in so much pain I had to go upstairs to get an icepack. So there I was in the middle of the hockey game about to interrupt a bunch of crazy hockey fans that I had embarrassed myself in front of earlier. And of course, when we went to get the ice pack out of the freezer the whole thing fell out onto the floor. I'm taking it as a sign that I should never bother watching hockey games again. They're too painful.