April 2008 Archives

I lol'ed.

Dear Everyone Else,

Please blog more often. It's hard to take a break and maintain my sanity if you guys don't friggin' update.

Love Mike

If I had to guess, I would say the best year for blogging would be the period that coincided with the 2003-2004 Academic year. Just saying.

I have a really big headache. I got my final mark for the class I finished last week. Lower than expected, but not particularly bad. Especially by U of T's standards. Slightly frustrated because I just know how the marking probably went down ("Oh, you didn't use that exact word? -1").

Tomorrow I write my micro final. It's disappointing to think that if I get 100%, the best mark I can get in the class is 64%. Hello string of bad luck this year. I need a 65% on the final to pass, and all I need to do is pass. So here's to passing. I've been studying non stop. I'm feeling slightly ready to take it. The biggest problem I have is there are a lot of questions that I just can't remember how to do. Simple, simple questions. Usually involving simple math. Math that I will probably screw up under pressure. Game plan? Drink a red bull, get really wired, don't screw up.

Ok. So I'm taking a quick break to try and clear my head before the real studying for today starts. My goal is to go through all of the tutorial questions for the whole year. That's actually much more achievable that it sounds.

I've been having these really intense stress-induced dreams. Each day it gets progressively more intense. I can't tell if that's good or bad yet. It just makes it really hard to get anything done. I've been thinking about where I want to travel to this summer. I think it would be really cool to go to Ottawa for Canada Day because Toronto doesn't actually do Canada Day parties. I also really want to go to Winnipeg, for reasons I can't seem to get anyone to understand. Lucky for me I have a few friends who don't need reasons to up and travel several hours to a province like Manitoba.

More than anything, I really don't want to waste my summer. My parents have been harping on me to work full time, either on top of or instead of taking a full course load over the summer. They seem to have severely underestimated how long it took for me to adjust to living in an apartment on my own. I still can't make food for myself other than sandwiches. They also seemed to have failed to grasp how big of a downer living in Toronto can be. Sure there's something happening, but it doesn't matter if there's no one to have that stuff happen with. Adam is moving into an apartment downstairs on Thursday, and Ali is taking her first summer away from camp since ever. Joey's staying for the first half semester too. Fingers crossed I won't be sitting in my room along staring at the paint.

Please to be watching this, it is made of win.

I promise. I swear. Especially since I have a lot to do, and I'm hurting in Mirco right now.

Maybe I'll finish my tea first.

"We have assessed the situation and decided that we will not expose our members to the dangers of assaults from angry and irrational members of the public...We have a legal responsibility to protect the safety of our members and so does the TTC."

Now, here's my issue with that. I get paid just under 1/3rd what most of the TTC staff makes. I have no protection from the angry and irrational public. Don't believe me? Take one moment to walk into ANY entry-level job where you have to deal with consumers. Part of my job is forcing myself to be nice to people even if I don't want to be.

My mom was talking about how some drivers are apparently attacked by people who are mentally unstable and sit along Queen near the crack hospital. If that's true, it's definitely a shame. I don't think I ever blogged about it, but I was attacked by an angry, alcoholic, piece of shit homeless guy on my second shift. My second TRAINING shift. I was lucky that I was tall, but I'm hardly buff. The two girls who were working with me at the time were tiny and wouldn't have been able to handle it. They called the cops. They were shaken up. If TTC drivers are being harassed, then the TTC Special Constables should be doing more about it.

As for being mistreated AFTER the fact, I doubt that. We've had a solid weekend of news coverage absolutely tearing the union leadership to shreds. As it should have been. They still haven't fessed up and told us what they told their union members to get them to vote against a contract that gave them WAY too much to begin with.

Another day has pretty much come and gone and I've hardly achieved any studying. It's just hard for me to bring myself to study anymore. I knew that this might be a problem, but never imagined it would be this intense. I got up at 8:30 ish, wound up pretty much useless til 1:00. Got some studying done. Gave up and walked around to try out something new. Needed another nap for like 2 hours. Here's to trying to relearn uncertainty and risk.

I am two redbulls and I don't even know how many iced grande lattes into my day, and I still can't keep my eyes open. This is so not good for studying.

img 245, originally uploaded by scott_loudoun.

Today is caturday. I am posting a cat.

It is absolutely disgusting that we live in a society where striking is allowed. None of them deserve to keep their jobs. Pay raises are something you're supposed to earn. If you have issues with your pay or work conditions, you get another fucking job.

I am 12 hours into excessive slacking after yesterdays final. I expect another 24 hours of it. I couldn't be happier.

My first of three finals is tonight at 7p. Labour Market Policy. I'm reached a point where even thinking about reading anymore makes me shudder. I just want to get this over with. The desire to do well is still there, but I've been studying for so long now that I just need this one to be gone.

FUCK. YOU.

I can't even put into words how sick and fucking tired I am of hearing all your shitty Obama propaganda. That's not "What's new online". It stopped being new online months and months ago. But no, you fuckers keep beating the dead horse.

I hope that dead horse falls on your saviour. See how Obama deals with dead horse.

3 hours worth of napping was the solution to this problem. Not the I have any explanation for why I'm so tired.

I woke up just after 9:30a today. A little groggy, but it passed. I walked to work with Adam, made sure my schedule is being fixed (I don't even want to go there right now), and then walked him to Union before taking the subway home. It is now just before 12p and I feel like I'm about to pass out. I'm seriously considering laying down for a bit. That can't be ok.

08-04-16 A List 006, originally uploaded by Mike Haddad.

I forgot to mention, I put up new pictures in frames over my bed. After all the effort of buying a level, etc., Adam put them up without it. He claims you can't see the difference, but you can. I got over it. I mean, he did all the work anyway.

Ps, the flower only temporary

• clean desk/dresser/box/bathtub/toilet/mirror
• Study ECO206Y1Y (mirco)

Richmond Fire Systems is testing the fire system in my building today. I will probably clean when they test my floor, because I won't be able to study with a fire alarm going off that often.

Sarah is back in Oakville. FOR. GOOD.

EXCITMENT TO THE POWER OF INFINITY

I'm not black. I say I'm brown, but a simple glance at any picture of me shows brown features at best. As a result I'm probably really biased in how I see perceived racism, which explains why I get so frustrated when I read blogs complaining about trivial shit. This is not trivial. This was a pretty ballin' read.

Racialicious: Another Quick Reflection on Being "Black" - Not Black Enough

This is my daily plan for the next week:
Sat Apr 19: Torie's goodbye party
Sun Apr 20: recover; clean desk/dresser/box/bathtub/toilet.
Mon Apr 21: Study ECO206Y1Y (mirco)
Tue Apr 22: Review readings for ECO239Y1Y (labour market)
Wed Apr 23: Review readings for ECO239Y1Y (labour market); ECO239Y1Y Final 7p.
Thu Apr 24: Meet Nick in Oakville, 1115a; Glow in the dark mini putt; pick up steve?; chills.
Fri Apr 25: Work; finalize not talking to anyone until the 8th
Sat Apr 26: Study ECO206Y1Y (mirco)
Sun Apr 27: Study ECO206Y1Y (mirco)
Mon Apr 28: Study ECO206Y1Y (mirco)
Tue Apr 29: Study ECO206Y1Y (mirco)
Wed Apr 30: Study ECO206Y1Y (mirco); ECO206Y1Y (Mirco) Final 7p.
Thu May 1: Study ECO230Y1Y (int'l economics) with Anna; Relearn to socialise.
Fri May 2: Study ECO230Y1Y (int'l economics)
Sat May 3: Study ECO230Y1Y (int'l economics)
Mon May 4: day off?
Tue May 5: Review readings for ECO230Y1Y (int'l economics)
Wed May 6: Review readings for ECO230Y1Y (int'l economics)
Thu May 7: ECO230Y1Y Final 2p.

08-04-17 Anna's Goodbye 027, originally uploaded by Mike Haddad.

Sometimes I forget how ridiculous it is that I live in the city. It's usually because I hardly go out and do anything fun. So, you can imagine a bit of my shock when I look at this picture of us playing frisbee yesterday, 5 minutes from where I work. My thoughts were "HOLY SHIT SKY DOME AND CN TOWER". You forget how close they are.

• pick up my micro midterm from november
• finish my part of my work review
• study for eco206 (micro)
• write about my killer night on tuesday
• upload pictures from Anna's goodbye picnic

I am being productive.

By now I'm sure everyone has heard that the TTC unions are set to strike starting 4pm Sunday, shutting the system down completely by 4am. Monday.

This is a choice quote from the article in the Canadian Press:

Of course most of the public won't be on your side. Everyone knows how spoiled low level public sector workers are in general. And the TTC employees have a huge nasty streak. For everyone 1 incredible streetcar driver, you will have 5 abysmal ones. There's no such thing as a nice subway fare collector anymore. Especially when they get to hide behind their glass window. Nothing like separation of space to make you feel smug about mumbling incoherently and given bad information to anyone asking. I guess they need the time to hand write terrible signs to post in the stations as part of their own attempt at way finding material.

I'm so incredibly happy that we're moving to a point in time where our society stops excepting the professional equivalent of a hissy fit as a reasonable way to negotiate contracts. Now all I need is the province to declare it an essential service and Christmas will have come early.

Dear Anna

I'm sorry I bailed half way through your day. Lucky for me you understand how short my patience is when it comes to undereducated, overpaid City of Toronto staff. Especially if they're angry yelling douchebag ferry men.

I'll make it up to you. I promise.

Mike

I just had the misfortune of wandering onto one of the old unairconditioned trains plyin Bloor-Danforth. I'm so unlucky.

My updated list:

• clean out box
• clean desk
• clean bathroom: floor, toilet, sink, bathtub
• clean dressers

Ok. So turns out I did end up cleaning my sink. I also accepted I am in serious need of windex to clean my mirror.

On more important topics, does anyone know how use Pages in MT4? I'm working on converting old templates to Pages, which is super convenient. Sort of.

Good page conversion: Abby's page

Bad page converstion: Josh's page.

Josh's page used to look something like Adam's page. You'll notice that the alignment got better. You'll also notice that the entry about Josh (The guy your mother would totally replace you with if she could.) is now just entry markup. That's because I used the old MT Entry plugin, which took entries and pasted them in templates the way you wanted. Apparently it doesn't work with Pages.

I also thought I saw somewhere "This page has one entry on it" on the old layout, leading me to believe that you could put more than one entry on a page. If anyone figured out how to do that, please, please, please let me know.

This was my to do list that I started yesterday:

• laundry: clothes, bedding
• febreeze room
• clean out under bed, box, closet
• clean shoes
• clean desk; bathroom: floor, toilet, sink, bathtub

Unfortunately I seem to only have one good days worth of cleaning in me. I'm having trouble even folding the socks that were left over from washing all the clothes. I can't even begin to imagine cleaning the rest of my bathroom today.

What's worse is that I don't even have a desire to do any studying either. I had hoped that instead of cleaning, I would at least want to study. No such luck. Dag, yo.

Today, for the first time in a long time, inspired by a list I saw on a friends wall, I made a list of things to do. More importantly, I followed through with it. As the idea of cleaning, etc., is so daunting in my mind I started off small:

• laundry: clothes, bedding
• febreeze room
• clean out under bed, box, closet
• clean shoes
• clean desk; bathroom: floor, toilet, sink, bathtub

I ran into a few problems with the bathroom cleaning, like not having a toilet cleaner, but all in all I'm pretty impressed with myself (impressed enough to take a break). For people who don't know me very well, this might now seem like a big deal. Let me assure you, it is. I have a really bad habit of living in organized chaos. I'm trying to turn it into just organized now.

This is a map my friend sent me of the proposed Sheppard E LRT routing and proposed/potential station locations: Google Maps: Sheppard E LRT

If there is one thing that will be the downfall of my chances at completing a degree, it will be my inability to pick up on little things in questions on tests. Stupid algebraic mistakes is a close second though. The number of times that I do a question backwards because something didn't click in my head is getting far too high.

My bed room is currently sitting at 11 degrees Fahrenheit above ambient room temperature. It is very unpleasant. It also make it hard to want to study in here.

The one problem I have with the Downtown Relief Line is the plan to run along the train tracks. I realise it's much easier to build a line where the right of way exists, but all the arguments are to justify that alignment as a result. Its the same sort of thing that's happening to WWLRT. Unless someone puts their foot down its going to end up along Queen's Quay, when a route a little further north that serves Liberty Village makes more sense. DRL will serve big tourist attractions, but I still question whether or not there are better routes for it.

I really like how Toronto Life Square is coming along. It reminds me a lot of the building near Piccadilly Circus in London. I haven't been there in like five years now, but when I was there it had two huge arcades and some cd store. Typical that Toronto looks like it ripped off the idea from someone else.

That said, I am really excited for it. I haven't been to the AMC yet but its super convenient to have a movie theater downtown that isn't the Paramount. Let's be honest. Its out of the way, and in a shitty neighbourhood.

The food court looks like its going to be pretty sweet. I saw a Harvey's that looked near done, and some sort of juice place. There were signs informing me that Tim Horton's, Subway, Timothy's , Bubble Tea and Baskin Robin's were getting ready to ppen up soon.

Nancy went to the Jack Astor's job fair, and Milestones is opening up soon too. I cannot wait. I'm so tired of Mr Green Jeans, Fran's and the Pickle Barrel. It'll be nice to add two more restaurants to the mix.

Here is a list of songs I'm looking for. Thank you wikipedia.

I hate Sears. With a passion. I'm sure I would hate any store that is the equivalent of Wal-mart in the department store world. But I have a special place for Sears, after they took over the Eaton's place. I don't remember much about Eaton's, but I remember it was a lot nicer.

I can't stand the tacky in-store advertising announcements. You know, with that annoying guy telling you major appliances are on sale? Or that blenders are amazing? And don't forget to use your Sears card or your Sears Mastercard for major savings! The ones that run obnoxiously every thirty seconds? Because it will totally get me to not run through as fast as I can and instead buy shit.

Downtown Hamilton is such a bizarre place. It's like what Mississauga would have been if the roads weren't all 6 lanes + turning. There are a lot of really nice older buildings that are some chunk of capital away from flushing out the crackheads and turning it into something pleasant.

Unfortunately, Hamilton is also fun of people who don't understand how the economy works. At the corner of Main and Caroline there is a gorgeous old building that would make an amazing loft redevelopment. It's also covered in grafiti that says "+ social housing - yuppie condos". Because that's exactly what people want to live near, right?

I made the mistake of reading an article from Now Toronto today. Yes, I'm aware Now is a huge piece. The left wing equivalent of The Sun. But it was about the TTC, and the article was listed on Spacing. The article is essentially left-wing, pro-union propaganda.

It's upset that the TTC will only require 25% of the final content in its new vehicles be assembled in Canada. I, of course, am upset that there is ANY requirement at all, but I'm not going to argue the finer points of first year economics to everyone. That's what first year economics is for.

What's worse is the only justification is that everyone else does it. That's it. Well, if everyone else wants to limit themselves to a smaller pool of choices, and have to pay more, and wait longer for their new vehicles, well go ahead. But the TTC is in desperate need of new streetcars. They can't improve service on any of the lines because the CLRV's and ALRV's are so old that most of them are in for repairs. I don't even know how we're going to last the two years they claim they can get them by.

If they unions are worried about our economy, then maybe they should kick themselves for all the waste they've created over the years. Protecting their employees, limiting new recruitment, ridiculous wage increases for lower productivity. That's what weakens our economy. Not limited Canadian Content.

Last night, Joey, Ali and I met up with our good friend Cara. We met up with her twice. And THEN. We watched American Pie. I had forgotten how amazing that movie was. I always not-so-secretly feel upset about not going to an American high school.

I have misplaced one of my midterms. Actually. I'm being serious. It is no where to be found. This can't be a good sign. Now I can't even remember if I picked it up or not. I must have. Why wouldn't I?

Maroon 5 - Songs About Jane, originally uploaded by Mike Haddad.

I like this album. It shows, because the mean is 4.25. I would love to go on about how it got me through some hard times and how you all should listen to it, but I'm exhausted. Just accept that it did, and that you should.

Anyone who's taken Economics at some point, listen up.

I'm stuck on best response functions. I understand the theory behind it, and how they work once you have them. But I question how you actually get them. If you could clear that up for me, I would appreciate it a lot.

Thanks,
Mike

10 bands/artists you love lately
10: M.I.A.
9: Feist
8: Placebo
7: Alicia Keys
6: Yellowcard
5: Savage Garden
4: Nancy Silverman
3: India.Arie
2: Avril Lavigne
1: Fall Out Boy
Maybe not in that order.

9 things in your room
9: Jackie Chan, the computer with dying hard drives.
8: My unnamed Macbook
7: Union 10 piece picture frame set, on the floor waiting for pictures.
6: Desk Mini-Pharmacy: Tylenol, Jamieson Chewable VitaVim, Cold FX.
5: School supplies, all over the place
4: Clothes, also all over the place
3: My unnamed backup computer
2: CD cases that don't have CDs in them.
1: McFly Calendar Adam bought me.

8 favorite songs
8: Empty Apartment - Yellocard
7: Cuz I Can - Pink
6: My Sweet Darlin' - Hitomi Yaida
5: Evolution - Ayumi Hamasaki
4: Maybe - Emma Bunton
3: Save Me - Remy Zero
2: Obviously - McFly
1: Things I'll Never Say - Avril Lavigne

7 people who make you smile
7: Queen's Quay &York
6: Brendan
5: Joey & Ali
4: Anna
3: Steve
2: Adam
1: The Asians & Co.

6 favorite pastimes
6: The Tubes
5: Cara Time
4: Crews
3: Walking
2: C&C
1: Driving

5 favorite places
5: Starbucks Queen's Quay & York
4: The Sir Daniel Wilson Residence Quad
3: Coronation Park
2: Lester B. Pearson International Airport
1: Neyagawa Park

4 favorite movies
4: Mean Girls
3: Kill Bill
2: Pirates of the Caribbean
1: Rush Hour

3 missed memories
3: Munn's Dances
2: Vice
1: Summer after grade 12

2 favorite stores
2: Holt Renfrew
1: Starbucks

1 weakness
1: Compulsive Shopping

2 minutes ago was the culmination of two or three weeks up mild to moderate sadness. It is now completely and totally frustration and anger. I'm enjoying it more than I should too.

He might have figured out his mistake. I'm not sure.

My computer is going to die really soon. There are two immediate things that frustrate me about this aside from the fact that like, you know, my computer is dying. The first is the amount of money that it will end up costing to upgrade it, because there is no point in just replacing the old parts anymore. The chip is out of date, and the mobo uses ddr1. The hard drives have been around since I got them in grade 10. So when the hard drives fail, there it will not make sense to replace them with new ones, only to have to deal with the rest of the shit again later. This results in a huge cost. The second part that bothers me is the fact that because of the huge cost, my mother will refuse to believe it actually died and not want to pay for it.

Ok, so here's the deal. I have Bose earbuds. They are pretty amazing. That said, if you are that granola-looking fake lesbian with the ugly boots blasting obnoxious beats on your iPod so that I have to CRANK the volume up to even hear what I'm listening to, there is an obvious problem. Get your ears checked. Or better headphones.

I'd been feeling very nostalgic. Somewhere there was a trigger that set off a chain reaction inside me. Memories flooded back. I couldn't help it.

The end of high school; the first time I got drunk. It was right near the end of grade 12. I was finally realising that dating girls because the only other gays guys in high school all sucked wasn't going to fly anymore. I was slowly cycling through a new group of friends from another high school as a result. My coworker, who was my in, had a party for her birthday. Everyone else was drinking. I drank, but my old friends didn't drink as much. So I got drunk. I mean really drunk. Like I didn't know my limit and drank Smirnoff Green Apple vodka out of a cup like it was a cooler, and then followed it up by doing Bacardi O shot's and chasing with Smirnoff Ice, because it was sweet. No one really knew better. Or they didn't tell me if they did. So I wound up wandering off to a park with an incredibly sweet straight guy who was the only person who thought someone should look after me. We went to Mac's and I was so drunk I ruined an entire display by accident, and followed it up by going to a park to vomit. A proud moment in my life.

Before I know it I'm only re-reading a story that defined what I really wanted out of my high school experience. I was almost bitter. Fairy tales are so cruel. I sat down, put on some slow songs from four or five or more years ago, with the occasional new one that I love and started re-reading. It's amazing what a good story can do. When I was getting too in touch with my emotions I would stop and watch jpop videos for songs I used to (and still) love on youtube. Youtube is an amazing gift from technology to us that I don't think we appreciate enough.

And I'm thinking about how every summer I promised myself it would be different. I wouldn't waste away. I would seize the moment this time. Grab life by the horns and what not. I had a stroke of luck too. Adam is moving into my building, 15 floors down. This summer is ripe for adventures. I'm going to try and remember to seize it this time.

After high school, my group of friends for the most part went off to university to do four year degrees or coop, which amounts to five and a bit. It is now four years from the end of high school. While I was always sort of aware that my friends would be finishing school this year, I didn't realise how big a deal it was until this morning.

Everything is going so well, right? Well there's a bomb that's about to drop. Let's continue. After a conversation about stopping at stupid places to take silly pictures, I ask when.

In all this time. It never, EVER, dawned on me that anyone would ever leave. Even when Jer left, though shocked, I got over it because he wasn't originally from Ontario. He was from Kelowna. He had friends there he wanted to go back to. But to have someone up and leave that was always in my group of friends, it's a strange feeling.

That's not to say I'm not going to drive out with her. I'm just going to miss Torie when she's gone.

This is an open letter for anyone who's had the misfortune of trying to date me.

I'm sorry.

I'm so, so sorry. I realise I'm incapable of dating. I wish I could say it weren't my fault. But it totally is. I don't know why I'm screwed up - I just am. I'm a commitment-phobe.

It might have something to do with all the pop songs, and movies, and tv shows, where love was easy (or easier), and at least almost perfect. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with Carrots & Celery. I wish I could make it better. But I teally don't think I can. And for that, I'm sorry,

Mike

http://www.torontosun.com/News/TorontoAndGTA/2008/04/02/5167891-sun.html

Now, as racially insenitive as I may be, even I know it's not right to (1) refer to all Asians as Oriental and (2) to stereotype all Asians like that, no matter how flattering you may think it is.

I challenge you to read the actual article. It's challenging. It's typical of the Sun though. Trash poorly passed of as journalism. What bothers me is the fact that I'm sure the writer knew he was spewing shit out of his ass the whole time - but that ot doesn't matter when you write for the Sun.

In conclusion, Mike Strobel is an attention mongering tool. Not tha much better can be said of me.

I hate them, so hard.

This is why: Rick Mercer: Science: 21st Century Menace

I'm in a really weird place right now, stuck between nostalgia and an overwhelming sense of sadness. It's almost as if something bad happened somewhere. A great disturbance in the force, if you will.

My friend's Facebook status is about Mariah Carey and how he's excited for her 18th number one, surpassing Elvis. I really hope its not about her new single which, in the grand scheme of things, is a really bad song.

Today is April 1st. I wrote the last of my midterms today. My finals are in about a month. I still have a week (or two?) of classes left. It is also snowing outside. In comparison, most of my friends have FINISHED their university degrees today. Not fair.

I'm off to write my third and final midterm for ECO239Y, roughly a month before the final. Go figure.

Dear Metropolitan United Church,

I hate your church bells. So hard. I would give a lot to have them come crashing down. Especially since they tend to be playing right when I am trying the hardest to focus. Like right now. Buy the guy a Wii or something.

Mike

Avril Lavigne - Under My Skin, originally uploaded by Mike Haddad.

After last weeks post on A Present for Everyone, I went to see what other highly rated albums I had. I realise that scoring gets skewed when the number of tracks changes, but with that in mind I give you my number 2: Under My Skin.

Coming in just under A Present for Everyone which had a mean score of 4.69, Under My Skin has a mean score of 4.66.

On the other hand, I've listened to the songs on Under My Skin a lot more over all than the songs on A Present for Everyone (the play counts here are misleading, since I have more than 1 computer without a linked iTunes library).

Of course the day everyone is going to change their Subject POSts at U of T, the site hits an overload and I can't find anything I need.