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The sequel to Another Gay Movie is out, and the NYTimes did not like it. My favourite paragraph is one of the last:

What follows is a quest to see who can have the most sex and embody the most clichés. Every sad, flagrant stereotype gets a workout: drinking and drugging, promiscuity and primping, mincing and squealing, drag queens and porn stars. What ever happened to gay style and flair?

I forgot to mention, that seems like a pretty accurate portrayal of gay spring break if you ask me.

Movie Review Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild

In case you haven't seen the preview yet:

Apparently, they've decided to cash in on the new musical franchise business going on.

Aim is to pick up the Baltimore saga of the Turnblad family after the resolution of the first film, which was set in 1962.

It really is our generations Grease. And I'll just remind you that Grease 2 sucked to point you on the thought path I'm walking down.

I've seen three movies in the last week, and I'm starting to form this theory about professional movie reviews. It goes like this: Everything they say is right, just exaggerated.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End got almost unfriendly views. People said it was too long, and nothing happened, and no one knew what was going on. Well it was about 45 minutes to long, and there were scenes that seemed like nothing happened. But I challenge a person to pick out any of those scenes and count them as unnecessary enough cut out. And I can see why people didn't know what was going on: people are stupid, and don't pay attention.

Ocean's Thirteen was just as long, and for the first bit it actually did seem like there was no plot development. The worst part about it was when there wasn't even a big thing at the end where they showed you how they actually did it. You just watched it all happen and that was that.

Finally, Knocked Up was just as long as the other two and filled with really awkward character development. The problem with Knocked Up was it was real. It was funny – incredibly so. It was also way too real, and filled with all of life's awkward moments and references to really bad Vince Vaughan films.

What do you do when both Nancy AND Adam ditch you because either a mother's friend is graduating or there's a huge desire to act straight? Go see Tokyo Drift with Rob because his mother graduated Friday night and he is straight. Moving on I'd like it to be know that I'm now in the market for a pair of Asian sidekicks: one male, tall and quirky, and one female, cute, probably with crush on quirky Asian male. Japanese preferred.

I knew going into the movie that they could produce a load of crap and I'd still love it. It was about racing, and Tokyo and racing IN Tokyo. Hello, instant winner much? So even though the plot was nonexistent, and the acting was horrible, I still loved it. I'm not sure if I would recommend it to anyone other than me though because your brains might melt. Oh and just for the record, Bow Wow speaks HORRIBLE Japanese.

Earlier tonight Sarah and I had our second double date with Adam and Becky. After the Mexicali Rosa's fiasco, we decided to eat at Boston Pizza before enjoying the amazing movie that is Stick It. I recommend it to people who enjoy really catty girls, really pretty boys, and anyone else who doesn't have a stick up their ass.

Sure the movie is super cheesy for almost the whole thing, but it's the first movie to come out in a long time that's just fun. No stupid impossible mission that some tool has to do to save his loved one, and no cuddly animals who have to find their way home; just a lot of really dumb crazy fun girls. Now you see why I can relate.

When Crash won the Oscar for Best Picture, I remember thinking about how homos everywhere would be screaming about how they were robbed of what they deserved for being gay. Then homos everywhere screamed about how they were robbed of what they deserved because they were gay. Everywhere you looked you saw people commenting on how Crash was a way for the Academy to look hip and cool but still hate homos. So many people said it, it had to be true! Then I saw Crash for myself.

Don't get me wrong, Brokeback was sad and twisted, and all together horribly moving. It was also incredibly boring, and the slowest moving movie I have ever seen. It was like Titanic in the sense that you knew that there was no happy ending, and you were just scratching nails on a chalkboard waiting until it happened. I loved how it was directed, and acted out. I just didn't enjoy the story itself so much.

I loved Crash. From the very beginning to the very end, I loved every moment of the movie. It was completely and totally the kind of movie that I would love. I loved how the story played out, with all the ironies. I loved how the storylines all tied together so perfectly. Most of all I loved just how much it told you that yes, life really is a big bitch.

Brokeback Mountain came and went through my brain twice before I felt I could voice my thoughts about the movie. I even had to look around to other reviews to try and help develop my thoughts on a movie that's bound to win a ridiculous amount of awards. The Towleroad Guide To Brokeback Mountain helped a lot there.

I've never read the original short story by Annie Proulx, and I can't say if I ever will read it. The fact that I hadn't read the story left me not knowing what to expect from the movie. Based on the pictures that I'd seen from the movie (two pictures total, including the poster) and what I'd read and heard about it the movie was about two gay cowboys who fell in love. Two incredibly hot, sex cowboys played by Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal. Then at some point Heath Ledger marries some redhead chick, which I learned after seeing my one screen capture from the movie: their wedding.

The opening of the movie was a powerful way to introduce the characters and the landscape. The fact that neither spoke until well after they had been assigned to work together was something that felt so familiar to me. The way that Jack (Gyllenhaal) cruised Ennis (Ledger) at the very beginning of the movie is what I consider to be the single most clever thing that Ang Lee could have done while directing the movie. The subtle infusion of typical gay demeanour into macho straight stereotypes is brilliant and something that Lee should be given credit for. It's what won me over.

Both Ledger and Gyllenhaal did amazing jobs at displaying emotions that they may not ever feel in their lives. Ennis was the typical gruff, quiet homo too afraid to say anything for fear of what people might come to discover about him. Gyllenhaal played the quirky, eccentric rodeo cowboy that passed off his actions as rodeo's rambunctious tendencies. It worked fine for the first two decades of their lives. Then they wind up working together up in the vast nothingness that is Wyoming herding sheep. One cold night and a little too much whiskey and they find themselves opening doors to a world of lust that they've kept locked away inside them. That point changed their relationship forever.

Brokeback touches on a number of points in the life of someone dealing with their sexuality in a world that is not only not accepting, but hateful towards their orientation. It's painfully slow moving and accents the internal suffering that goes on in the lives of Ennis and Jack after they leave Brokeback and attempt to fit back into their world where men do women and make babies. Dealing with that and the fact that they just can't quit each other (expect a lot of homos to be heard quoting that line in the next few months). It's powerful and moving, and I would recommend it to anyone who has more than two brain cells.

Friday night I went out with some of the AE crew to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I'm lukewarm on the whole movie right now. The cinematics were great, but the movie strayed far away from how the book worked. So while I suggest you all go out and see the latest piece in the Harry Potter legacy, I'd like to take the chance to point out some issues that bothered me with the movie.

First of all, the movie was two and a half hours long. It's hard to squeeze a book as big as the Goblet of Fire into a movie that's only two and a half hours long, yet it was still long enough to make people who aren't Harry Potter fans (Adam) antsy throughout the movie. So in the two and a half hours they made some changes to the story.

Winky and Dobby, who were key characters in the book, do not appear in the movie. In the book, Winky is responsible for sending up the dark mark at the beginning of the movie. Rather, Winky gets blamed for sending up the dark mark at the beginning of the movie when it was in reality Barty Crouch Jr., who was supposed to be under the Imperius Curse and an Invisibility Cloak being watched by Winky in the top box at the World Quidditch Championship.

Since they cut Winky out, they completely rearranged where the Weasley's were sitting. They were in the worst possible seats, instead of in the top box with the Malfoys. Annoying, but they made it work - although this could be because the Quidditch World Cup lasted all of 1 minute on screen. Dobby being cut out wasn't so much of a big deal. Instead, Neville gave Harry the Gillyweed which was Barty Crouch's hope in the beginning of the story.

Before the first task, Ron never saw the dragons in the book. They fudged this up in the movie. While Ron claimed to be the reason that Hagrid told Harry, Barty Crouch Jr. still yelled out that Hagrid would never had told Harry had it not been for him at the end of the movie. Aside from that, the creative license used on the tasks was in my opinion fair and justified, despite what some others think. Creative license that I didn't agree with: Portraying the other triwizarding schools as all-girl and all-boy.

A lot of the side nonsense was cut out of the movie, but my biggest beef was with the way the Yule Ball was done. The Yule Ball is the turning point in the Ron and Hermione love story. The only person who was really shocked by how Hermione looked was Miss. Patil. Otherwise, there was no really big deal made about it which was a little disappointing.

On the whole though the movie was definitely worth the $10.50 that I paid for it. My next beef is going to be with the movie companies for charging that outrageous price for a student ticket.